Finished

Man have I neglected this blog. It's poker's fault, of course. Partly because I now have a poker blog hosted elsewhere, but mainly because finishing SuperNova Elite was such an incredibly soul-crushing, time-sucking, life-halting grind.

I finished on Monday, btw. Stoked to be done, of course, and somewhat proud of it as a feat of endurance. Would have been a lot more proud if the in-game results hadn't tanked beyond imagination the last few months. Not sure it was a smart decision to take it on, and seems somewhat unlikely that I'll repeat (not impossible, but it's a long shot). Mainly it just feels like an unwelcome house guest has left and I can finally relax in my own home.

Half Marathon Is No Joke

Okay, now that my debut half marathon is a couple days behind me, I'm ready to analyze what went wrong.

I guess, in retrospect, it wasn't all that bad. I expected it to be hard, which it was. And I only really cared that I finished, which I did. But brother, I'm here to tell you. I was fully and completely crushed by the thing. As I crossed the finish line I was firmly resolved to never do any serious exercise again. Ever. So I'll die young and experience a diminished quality of life? Fair enough.

But I'm off the ledge now and actually feel committed again to trying to run a marathon next year. Which brings me back to what went wrong (you know, in the interest of learning, like):

1) I undertrained. I only got up to about 15k in my training runs, and not even that many of them. I was told that the extra k's wouldn't be that hard, but the tellers lied.
2) The damn hills. If I undertrained for the distance, I way undertrained for the hills. Like, didn't train at all. There's one long, gradual hill, probably about 3k, which you do twice. The first time crushed me. The second time left me a bitter, defeated shell of a man (which I mean in a fun, upbeat way).
3) The damn cold. It was freaking snowing at points. Parts of the road were icy. I couldn't feel my, well, anything. i couldn't feel a damn thing.
4) My common sense. If I'm doing something, by choice, that makes me want to puke, it seems instinctual to stop. I'm gonna have to work on defeating that particular instinct.
5) The chili was overrated. Can't really blame it for the race, but still. Disappointing.

That Was Fast

Been talking about getting rid of the car for probably six months now. Truth is, we don't really need it. Daily life here downtown just doesn't require it, and there are a couple great options for the rare occasions we do need one (already joined ZipCar, which is ideal for short stints, and there are several local car rental places when we need a car for a bit longer). Those costs should be way less than insurance/maintenance on the car. And the finances really aren't even the point. The point is we don't need a car, so why have one?

Anyway, been talking about it for a while and finally got our shit together, cleaned out the car, and put it on craigslist today. Only got one call, but (surprisingly for Craigslist) the guy did come over, we agreed on terms, and boom! I'm carless for the first time since I was 16 years old. Well, technically I won't be carless till Friday. He gave me a deposit and agreed to come back then with the remainder. But the point remains.

So I guess it's good, but I do have a vague freaked out/panicked feeling. Maybe even not that vague, fairly prominent. But I was expecting it, and I know it'll pass, and I'm pretty sure it's the right choice. And if it's not, well, we didn't just sell the country's last available car. We could acquire a new one easy enough.

Whatever. It's just weird. No car is weird.

The Angry Pedestrian

There are many ways having a child changes you, of course, and not all of them are expected. For example, before Henry I can't recall ever getting mad at a driver while walking about. I mean, yeah, sometimes drivers aren't paying attention and almost kill you and whatnot, but hey, we all make mistakes, and what's the point in getting all worked up about it?

But this week I'm walking down towards the Costco for the buck ninety-nine hot dog and soda, and little Henry is in the stroller, and this lady is coming out of the Costco parking lot. It exits onto a one-way street, so she's only looking to her left and even though she has a red she rides right on through the intersection. And if I weren't on my toes, she would have rode right on through the baby stroller. So I give her the universal palms up what are you doing gesture, and she sees me and looks suitably horrified/ashamed and mouths 'sorry' and I hold my gesture and she says 'sorry' again and then it's over. She's down the road.

And afterwards, I'm actually feeling kinda bad. Cause truthfully I probably would have had to accelerate a bit for her to have had a chance at killing Henry (that's not really the point, she should have been paying attention, but it does seem at least vaguely relevant). And moreso cause she said 'sorry', she obviously felt bad, I wish I would have released the gesture and mouthed some sort of peace-making 'okay'.

But I didn't learn my lesson, cause just yesterday I'm walking up Hornby just past the art gallery and there's some construction and the intersection is a mess. And when we get the 'walk' sign we all start through the cross walk and this guy who obviously had waited the entire light without being able to get through races in front of us. Again, not exactly a near-death experience, but still I felt like Henry was being disrespected. Like, really, you're in such a hurry you're willing to kill a baby to get through this intersection? So I give the palms up again and I even mouth 'what the eff', and he refuses to look at me (I know he knows I'm there), and he has been slowed down by the intersectional mess so he's crawling by but still refuses to look as I give a second 'what the eff'.

So I kick his rear tire. He looks at me in his side mirror, and I see true fear in his eyes, and he drives off. And I realize, not for the first time and I'm certain not for the last, that being a dad makes you crazy. And if you're not careful, maybe a little mean.

I mean, kicking people's cars? What the eff, indeed.

Due Date

There weren't really any movies that looked that good and worked with our schedule, but Grandma was over and willing to watch the young 'un and you can't pass up free baby sitting, so we decided to check out Hereafter. The preview looked good, but it looked sad (which I wasn't really in the mood for), and the reviews were middling. But still, Eastwood has earned the benefit of the doubt lately, so decided to give it a shot.

While standing in line, a guy came up to us and said 'do you want to see a free movie'? He had an extra pass to the sneak preview of 'Due Date'. Score! Was way more in the mood for a comedy, and free is free.

So, there are definitely some funny parts, but overall it was no great shakes. I can't quite give it an un-recommend, cause comedies are few and far between lately, and sometimes you gotta at least take a shot at having a good laugh. And maybe it'll hit your sensibilities just right. But I found the two theater employees using night vision apparatus to search the theater for bootleggers far more entertaining than the movie itself, which probably isn't a good sign.

Preview Review VI (Missoula, MT edition)

Our lame ass booking agent somehow had us out on the road with a Friday night off. Just terrible. The upside, as it so often is, was an opportunity to visit the local cineplex. Here are the previews they offered.

SKYLINE -- Vaguely familiar looking actors fight vaguely familiar looking CGI aliens in a very familiar looking plot line. US (upside score) 1. SS (Secret score) 3.

UNSTOPPABLE -- I mean, I dunno. It's based on a true story, so I guess somebody said 'it has to be a movie'. But, sight unseen of course, it kinda seems like it didn't have to be a movie at all. With Denzel and his favorite director Ridley Scott, it might be an entertaining bad movie instead of just a straight-up bad movie. So I'll give it an extra point. US 2. SS 3.

DUE DATE -- The first preview I saw for this just looked terrible. This preview looked a lot more promising. But really, and it pains me to say this, both Robert Downey Jr. and Zach whateverhisnameis are seeming already past their own personal best before dates. And I'd consider myself a fan of both. Still, with the 'Old School' director at the helm, it should be worth two hours of your life. US 6. SS 4.

MEGAMIND -- It looked good, I suppose, but it's hard to really get behind animated movies. Whenever people argue that the 'best animated movie' contenders should also be up for the 'best movie at large' Oscar, I always think, 'for real? it's a cartoon!' I like the (voice) cast, and the trailer looked entertaining, so I'll probably go if the options are this or a horror movie. US 5. SS 5.

HEREAFTER -- The saddest looking movie, like, ever. There is almost zero chance this will be bad. But also seems pretty unlikely it won't be a giant buzz kill. US 8. SS 7.

RED -- If your idea of a good time is watching Bruce Willis smirk, then by all means. US 2 (give it an extra point just cause a couple cast members seem to have enough common sense to avoid movies that are this bad, so maybe it's better than it seems). SS 5.

All in all, a very disappointing selection of trailers. Again, I blame the booking agent.

Fuck 'Fuck Poker'

Is that a double negative?

The thing that irritates me about my 'poker is so hard' cry baby rant a couple posts ago, more than anything else, is that it reads like a carbon copy of one I wrote last year. I would have liked to have thought that a couple million hands would have taught me a new trick or two. Yet there I was, whining as much as ever.

Well, not again. I mean, the first obvious thing is that poker has extreme swings and if you are surprised by them, you're an idiot (at least after you've played long enough to really get a proper sense of it). Secondly, any energy put it into complaining, or fixating on the swings in general, adversely affects my performance (which is a disastrous result, letting the part of it I can control turn for the worse). And finally, I choose to play poker, understanding that the swings are part of the game. I mean, they're not a necessary evil. They're just necessary. Without the luck factor, the game can't thrive and while skill edges would win out quicker there'd be much less reward.

So I'm done complaining about results. Period. Doesn't mean it's not frustrating when you're on the worst down swing of the year (like I continue to be). Just means that it's pointless, and weak, to bitch about it.

I shouldn't play poker if I can't handle variance. But I do, so I have to. Simple like that.

Dumped Into The Caribbean

So yesterday, with Henry tended to by the fine staff at "Baby Club Med", Rachel and I took a kayak out into the Caribbean. We went basically straight out, and the waves got pretty intense, and we were in very short order deposited unceremoniously into the sea. We had to get rescued (apparently the kayak was filled with water, which made it less useful, although that might have been code from our motor-boated rescuer for "I'm not leaving you two idiots this far out here").

It was embarrassing, but awesome! I think Rachel found it a little more embarrassing, given her history with boats, and she wanted to be in the back of the boat when we went back out. I refused, mainly because I didn't want a running commentary of my paddling technique, such as it is. I did get plenty of tips on how to avoid a repeat spill, but secretly I think she liked it as much as I did.

Fuck Poker

I don't know what I did to piss off the poker gods, but apparently it was major.

This week, in only 25k hands, I'm down 80 (short) buy-ins. Just sickening. And as you know, when you're downswinging, the poker gods lay it on thick. Any time you fold, you would have got there. But when you stay in, you can't hit your 21-outer to pass the uber donk who called a flop shove with bottom pair. Can't hit it, like, ever. Not one fucking time in 25,000 hands.

But anyway, I'm not gonna go on too much about how many times the 80/60 spaz somehow has QQ when I call off preflop with JJ, or how the 60/10 always has A5 against my AK on the AJ5 board. You've been there, nobody wants to hear it. What I am interested in is the coincidence of my downswing with my inability to maintain focus for long grind sessions. I'm not getting in my VPP's because I seem to lose interest about 45 minutes into every session to the point where I feel like I just can't play. But is that lack of mental focus why I'm having such terrible results (and the preponderance of ridiculous beats is really just my mind playing tricks on me)? Or have I lost the focus because of the demoralizing affect of the bad results (in this scenario, said results being truly a result of variance)?

I've come to the conclusion that while there is definitely a bit of a vicious cycle happening (bad results frustrate me which makes me more likely to make a mistake which causes bad results which frustrate me which makes -- you get the idea), it's more a case of the focus getting shit-kicked by the results than the other way around.

First of all, as much as we do have selective memories, I still believe somebody who grinds a lot (relatively successfully) knows when he's running good or bad. I know if my overpair run into sets six times in fifteen minutes, that's just not normal. I know when a total maniac shows up with AA, that's pure bad luck. And certainly I recognize that losing to a hand that I had dominated happens, you know, 30% of the time or whatever. But if I haven't taken down one all-in yet in a session, and I've lost to a hand I had dominated four different times, it's obviously not about how I'm playing. There's no way, in these particular instances, for my mind to fool me. My point is just that while we can't trust ourselves totally in these matters, there are still times when we know we are running like complete and utter shit. And right now I am certain of it.

Secondly, poker is a game that even when we play terrible we win sometimes. Yet I have lost in 12 straight sessions. I'm not saying I'm an overall loser over the last 12 sessions. I'm saying I have posted a loss in every single one of those sessions, individually. There is just no earthly way that my skill level has deteriorated, instantly, so that after 10 straight winning weeks (at this stake level, anyway, I did post losses when taking shots) I suddenly can't post a single winning session. I mean, if my game is off, it's only off a little from where it was. I wasn't a genius then, just as I'm not suddenly a beginner now.

Anyway, now that I'm done convincing myself that it's mainly variance, the question is why I am letting it affect my ability to grind so much. If I had played through, got in my hands every day, odds are I'd have posted some winning sessions by now and perhaps already feel finished with the downswing. So why don't I do that?

I know why. During most of the summer, as I posted my most consistent results (by far) of this whole SSing experiment, I really focused on individual hands, refused to check results, tried very hard to get caught up in the decision-making process. That bubble burst when I took my shots at 400. Because I was nervous about it, and because the pots seemed so much bigger, I got in the habit of checking the cashier page after almost every big pot. I didn't shake it when I went back to only playing 200.

The thing is, when you're running good, checking the cashier page doesn't really hurt you that much. It's still probably a bad idea, because it takes away your focus on the present. But it's not going to tilt you. But now, this week when I hit my downswing, when I look at the cashier page and I'm down half a dozen (again, short) buy-ins five minutes into my session, there's just no way I'm not gonna be affected by it. Even if it doesn't directly affect my play (which sometimes it will), it still affects my desire to grind out a long session. Big time.

The good news, despite this week's terrible results, I still have a healthy roll for 200. Not huge, but certainly not near having to ask the staker for $. So I don't need to be sweating that. And even if I was low, there's no upside to sweating it. So starting right now, I resolve to have the utmost commitment to ignoring results in-session. Everybody knows that swings are an unavoidable part of grinding. Having habits that might allow my focus and/or level of play to be compromised by those swings is totally unacceptable.

Oh, and also, no surfing 2+2 or facebook during sessions. I solemnly swear.

Thank you for joining me on this voyage of self-discovery.

Well, it was catchy the first three times

I already blew the (instantly uber-hot) Cee-Lo track "Fuck You" for myself by listening to it like five times today. Now it's gonna get played everywhere by everyone for the next six months and it's gonna drive me nuts. Why did I do that to myself?

Disable Hotkey

If you've been wondering, as undoubtedly many of you have, when I will finally accept that for all it's time-saving convenience, and despite the (undeniable, surely, and inherent) cool factor enjoyed by the practitioner in its casual utilization, it is not a good feature if it causes even the rarest of closings of a table wherein lie the nuts (or the near nuts, or, really, any hand of near any value), wonder no more. I have now disabled the TableNinja (TM, I'm sure) one click table close feature. Not without sadness, but with, barring the unforeseen, a strong sense of determination towards finality.

Reason To Believe

Way back in the day, I used to always forget that the song 'Reason To Believe' is on Nebraska. I think it just seemed too upbeat to me to fit on that record. For some reason I never really gave the words enough consideration to realize that it's one of Springsteen's darkest songs. Once I did, the upbeat, practically jaunty, vibe just drove his point home all the more. Taken in context, the 'people find some reason to believe' line (which, superficially, sounds positive) is practically spiteful. The song is hopeless (at best), sarcastic and bitter, misanthropic even (at worst). If it belongs on any album (which it does, because it's great, but which I wish it didn't, cause it's depressing) Nebraska's the one. According to biographers, Springsteen was in a fairly significant depression when he wrote and recorded these songs (by himself, cut off from his usual musical co-conspirators). Whatever. I guess it's his blue period, as it were.

Anyway, I was thinking about that song (which I still, years after letting its meaning sink in, have a love/hate relationship with) because of this one verse:

"Take a baby to the river, Kyle William they called him
Wash the baby in the water, take away little Kyle's sin
In a whitewash shotgun shack an old man passes away
Take his body to the graveyard and over him they pray
Lord won't you tell us, tell us what does it mean
Still at the end of every hard earned day people find some reason to believe"

I remember, as a teenager in my Toyota Supra, the moment I realized it's Kyle William in the whitewash shotgun shack too. Heavy, man!


The last two times I've been in church, both in the past month, have been for a baptism and a funeral. I feel kinda messed up by my Dad's death. And tho it wasn't my son being baptized, he's of that age. I feel this lyric has come to life for me, in ways that I couldn't have imagined in the Supra. If only the thing had a shred of hope to it.

Preview Review V

Inception is a stunner, by the way. If you haven’t seen it, do.


WALL STREET. Man, Michael Douglas is looking a lot like Kirk. I guess it makes sense, you know, genetically speaking. But sometimes it’s like spitting image material. Overall this will probably be a fun movie, although the time that Oliver Stone was considered an ‘important’ director seems long gone. From the looks (or sounds) of the trailer, this will be absolutely riddled with clichéd dialogue. But you know, maybe that’s what these people actually talk like. Upside Score (US) 5. Secret Score (SS) 7.

TRON. I didn’t see the original, and maybe if I did this would be more exciting. Also, maybe the secret score might be lower, cause I might have had more than the vaguest sense of what’s going on. I mean, I know he enters a video game or whatever, but that’s about it. Still, looks good, as far as movies I’m not that interested in go. US 5. SS 8.

THE SOCIAL NETWORK. Having been burned a few times now in these Preview Reviews, I am developing a good sense for when the preview will actually be better than the movie (I’m looking at you, Russell Crowe’s Robin Hood). And this preview was almost functional as a self-contained ‘story of Facebook’. It did make the movie look quite good, but I’m suspicious that the picture proper will disappoint. Still I remain, always, hopeful. US 7.5. SS 5.

DUE DATE. On paper, it’s can’t miss. Robert Downey Jr and Zach G from the Hangover in a road comedy. On film, it sadly looks likely to miss. Maybe everything’s much funnier in context. US 3. SS 3.

THE TOWN. How does Ben Affleck not suck? Doesn’t it really seem like he should suck? Goes to show you never can tell, I guess. US 7. SS 5.

Unwanted Phone Call

I've spent more of my adult life on the road than at home. There's sometimes a feeling that you are removed from real life, sometimes it's hard to even imagine that full days and nights are passing at home. One after another, over and over. Maybe it's hard to imagine because it's a mainly unpleasant thought, that there is a whole life at home that you are leaving un-lived.

When the phone rings and it's an unexpected call from home, it's kind of a minor shock to the system, and you can't help but think of worst case scenarios for why someone's calling. Trevor and I have talked about this a lot. How the phone not ringing is kind of a good thing, no news is good news. My mom called around 9am this morning, as we were just beginning our drive from Carbondale, CO to Salt Lake City. And it was not good news.

My dad had passed away about an hour earlier. I guess you can't call it unexpected, as my dad had some serious health problems. But it somehow still feels that way. It's too much to accept that I'll never see him again. I really don't know how to mourn. I want to let go and just, you know, scream or beat up a wall or something. But besides the fact that might get me arrested here at the SLC airport, I don't think I could let myself go that far anyway. Every time I feel the emotion surging, I instinctively push it back down. I can't imagine it's healthy, but I can't imagine enduring the emotion unfettered.

So I just don't know what to do. I just gotta get home and hug my wife and kid, and my mom and my siblings. But honestly, I'm really scared of that too. Cause it's gonna be harder to tamper my emotions around my loved ones, and around people who are feeling the same pain. These next days are gonna hurt.

My dad wasn't a real talker, but I never doubted he was there for me. Not once, ever. Even in my rebellious teenage years, when we argued, I could push things because I knew I could never endanger the love and support I got from him. I remember, almost 20 years ago, my mom was really sick and it was touch and go whether she'd make it. And I was walking somewhere with my dad and I said something about how screwed we were going to be if mom died, how much our family needed her. And of course he agreed with that, but then he did something quite out of character for him, and he held my hand, and he said, "But you'll still have me."

Promise, dad?

Street Musicians

I was out for a walk through the mean streets of Vancouver with Henry the other day and we walked past this guy singing and playing a little nylon-string guitar. He was probably in his 60’s, with an overgrown beard and long, matted hair. Honestly, from his look and his demeanor, I think he was probably a little crazy. Probably a lot crazy.

I stopped, at first, because the music was familiar but I couldn’t place the song. Turns out it was America’s “All The Lonely People”, but reworked to the point of being barely recognizable. In a good way. (That is, after all, a song that could definitely use a good reworking). It was kind of like a Richie Havens arrangement, and he sang with a distinct voice. Nasal, but pleasing, maybe like a Dave Matthews-Cat Stevens hybrid? He was playing fast and loose with the phrasing and the melody, and flailing at his substandard guitar with an almost abstract abandon.

In short, it was an awesome performance. He must have been a professional musician at some point. He maybe still thought of himself as one, and if he also considered himself an artist I wouldn’t disagree. So I put a bit of money in his (completely empty) tin cup, and Henry and I were on our way.

It got me to thinking, though, about whether I should be giving based on the competence of the musician. If we’re talking about professional (and relatively sane) buskers, then for sure. Donate if you like it, walk on by if you don’t. But this guy is no longer in that category. He is, rather, in the same category as that fiddler you used to see in Gastown, sawing absent-mindedly on a two-stringed violin that probably hadn’t been tuned in a decade. That is to say, how much he needs help (a lot) is completely unrelated to how well he performs.

So. Is it cold -- wrong, even -- to choose who you help based on who can best carry a tune?

Night & Day

Just save your money and watch some Hart to Hart reruns.

No Governator

We're about sixty minutes from playing for the wrap up event of the Western Governors Convention up in Whitefish, MT. There are apparently going to be 19 Governors, from 22 States, but Arnie and Maria are last minute no-shows. We figure we'll play anyway.

Halfway There

Crossed the 500k VPP mark earlier today, which means I'm officially halfway to SuperNova Elite. Can't say it's been a blast so far. Best thing I can say for it is it's much better than having a day job (even if I could find one that paid the same). I actually still enjoy the poker, at least in the main. What gets me down is just the sheer amount of time I have to put in to reach my volume goals. But I guess that's kind of how jobs work.

PACE: C+. I am only about three or four days ahead of SuperNova Elite pace, and I'm fairly certain I'll fall behind a bit over the next month or so as I'll be spending at least half my days on the road with the band. As I originally wanted to hit 1.25m vpp's (that's a virtual impossibility at this point), I guess my pace is somewhat disappointing. But I've had a few factors slow me down (most noticeably switching styles in a way that results in less VPP's/hr), and I've more or less stayed right on Elite pace the entire year. So I'm overall satisfied with this part.

GAME PLAY: C-. Tempted to give myself an F here, seeing as I'm into five figures for actual game play lossees. But given that my bonuses outstrip my losses by a big enough margin that my staker has still seen profit (even though he covers all the game play losses, and only gets a percentage of bonuses), I don't think an F would be fair. How can it be a failing grade when you're playing well enough to make a solidly middle class income? So I was going with a D, but I think I've played quite well the past month, probably on like a C+/B- level. So I upgraded myself all the way to C-.

The reason I am playing so much better (I think, anyway) is I decided to move up from 100 to 200 and drop down from 24 to more like 12-15 tables. In theory I should be getting around the same VPP's/hr (in reality, it definitely works out to less, but kinda close; on the road I actually get more per hour now as bad internet often limited me to that many tables anyway). I just realized I have never had an extended period of posting good results while 24 tabling. Even though I feel like I can handle the pace, the results say otherwise. Playing less tables now, I realize that I was not handling the higher volume well at all. I am now making way less mistakes, and finding spots to be creative. I'm not crushing, but I've had a few weeks of posting a small win rate, and my red line is showing signs of life for the first time in ages.

Often times when I switch up approaches, I seem to play better for a period and then the novelty wears off, so I'm always cautious about thinking I've had a 'breakthrough' or whatever. But I do feel very positive about the second half of the year.

ZipCar

Tried it yesterday, in advance of possibly getting rid of the car. Brief summary for you:

CONVENIENCE: Pretty much off the charts. There are dozens of cars within a few blocks of us (including some within a block). Once you've booked it, you just go to the car and it's programmed to accept your card to open the locks. While out with the car, you can use your iPhone to lock/unlock it (the keys for the ignition stay in the car at all times). When you're done, you just return the car same place. No paper work, nothing. Only marginally less convenient then taking the elevator down to your own car in the parkade.

COST: For the cheaper car, it's about $10/hr. (You can get a 10% discount with a small monthly commitment, which we would likely do if we sold our car). So let's call it $9/hr. That includes gas. I took it for 3 hours, probably used $10 in gas. So the net cost is around $17. We figure we'll net (conservatively) around $300/month by not owning a car (not counting whatever we get for selling it). So we could use the zipcar for 3 hours a day roughly 17-18 times a month and break even. Seeing that's probably four times as often as we actually would, I'm pretty sure we'll be considerably ahead. Even allowing for the occasional longer trip (the day rate is not that great, if we were going to have a car for a few days I think we'd go with a rental car company).

DOWNSIDES: Well, you have to commit to the amount of time you want the car ahead of time. If you go way under, you don't get a refund. If you go over, there's a hefty late fee. But if the car is not booked by someone else, you can extend it by text at the very last minute for the regular rate. I was late getting back yesterday, but it only cost me $5 to book an extra half hour. When you are booking online you can actually see what cars have bookings later in the day, so you could make sure to book one that is not otherwise claimed and be fairly confident you'll be able to extend if running late.

Also, the car I had was covered in birdshit. It was pretty gross. Otherwise the car was totally fine, if a wee bit non-descript (certainly not remotely baller, but whatever). You can book better cars for a bit more, like an Audi A3 for an extra $5/hr. I assume they keep those parked places with less birds. If I had more time, I would have taken the car I had for a wash. They'll reimburse you for that (and give you $15 for your trouble). There's a lot of stuff like that, trying to encourage the community to take ownership of the cars. Which makes sense and is kinda cool, even the cynical part of me feels like it's just a way for them to have less employees.

Overall I think it's a pretty amazing system. Super easy, reasonably priced. Looks like the family car is a goner.

A Dream Of My Mother's From My Youth

In her dream, we're at the beach and my mother looks out and sees that me and my sister and my dad are all drowning. And she has to decide who to save. And then she wakes up.

I think I was around six when she told us the dream, because my little brother didn't factor into the equation (it could have been that he was too little to be out swimming, so maybe I was about seven or eight). From memory she had (and related) the dream repeatedly, and would often tell us about it while we were at the beach.

She would always immediately follow it's telling with "of course, it's so silly. I would just rescue Dad and then we would each rescue one of you".

This was undoubtedly meant to be reassuring, but I promise you, it was not. Even at that young age, I was aware that I would likely be a goner by the time they got to me. And besides, if Dad was able to come rescue me, why would he need Mom's rescuing in the first place? No, I knew she could only rescue one, and I was dang sure that wasn't a lottery I was gonna win.

What's interesting to me about it (besides maybe serving as an explanation why I never wanted to see "Sophie's Choice") is that she would make such an apparently misguided decision to burden her six-year old son with her nightmare. Maybe it's possible she was trying to keep me from going out too far. In my most cynical teen years, I entertained the idea it was to make me behave, in a general sense, so as to improve my chances of surviving. But now I think it simply weighed too heavy on her to not speak it.

She obviously knew it was not a particularly great thing to tell her children, and the unrealistic rescue scenario she attached speaks to that. But I think the dream was going to be on her mind literally every moment until she spoke it. Basically, if she wanted to keep it to herself (which she probably did), she had no chance.

I feel like I see that more and more in life. Definitely still in my mother, but also in myself, and in most anyone who I know well at all. Some things people can keep secret. But some things just have to come out. Doesn't matter if they're hurtful, or harmful, or meant to be kept quiet. Or just boring, not funny, really of interest to absolutely no one. There's just no stopping it. If the six year-old gets scared shitless in the process, well, nobody's happy about that. But it couldn't be helped.

Goals

I'm an hour away from celebrating a milestone birthday. While I'm obviously cynical enough to feel these milestones are almost entirely arbitrary, that the true milestones in our lives don't occur at ten-year intervals, it still seems like a good occasion to set some goals. I'm hampered, happily, by the fact that things are going pretty darn good. And some things that I might find myself wishing for don't ultimately matter. I do have a couple, tho. On or around this time next year, I want to have:

!) run a marathon;
2) finished a novel-length work of fiction.

I have no expectations regarding how fast I run the marathon. And I certainly don't make guarantees as to the quality of the fiction. The goal is just to accomplish these things as best I can.

Oh, and start blogging more again. It's kinda fun, and it's a good break from my routines (day job-free as I am, I still have some pretty repetitive days).

Bachelor Life

So the wife and kid have spent the last two nights with a handful of other moms and babies at a cabin on one of the nearby islands. A retreat, if you will.

Since the arrival of the little fella, I've been on a normal person's schedule. For the first time in many years, probably since high school (and I rebelled against it pretty hard even then). You know, in bed by around 11pm, with my alarm set for 6:30am. I do have quality interactions with the snooze button pretty much every morning, but even my latest rousing would have been earlier than early in the pre-Henry days.

So I was curious if the schedule would last in the absence of my family. And as I sit here at 11:30pm, wearing only my FullTilt Poker Bathrobe, and eating Kraft Dinner & wieners, I clearly have my answer. Hurry home, babe, before I am further undone!

Cable

"This house is a fucking prison."

"On Planet Bullshit."

"In The Planet Of This Sucks Camel Dicks."

Do you like yourself some Stepbrothers? It's a pretty terrible/really funny movie, probably more fun to quote than actually watch. And there's a lot better quotes than these, but these words are of the moment. For this is how the boys react when they are told there will be no TV for a week. And less than an hour ago, the man came from Shaw Cable and removed our digital box, officially rendering us a family without cable.

It's pretty major, if you ask me. At least to do it of your own volition. We're not in bankruptcy, and we don't live in an igloo. And I'm a pretty big fan of the television. We probably had ten shows that we were PVR'ing, so it's not like there's nothing good on. And we'll be watching a lot of DVD's, many of them of programs originally aired on television. So it's not like we've gone all hippie commune/batshit crazy. It's just the absent-minded, time-sucking viewing we don't like.

It's all just an experiment anyway. The Canucks are out, the good shows just had their series finales, we'll see how it goes for a bit. Our regular programming may well resume in a couple months.

In the interim, here are some of the motivators:

1) http://www.vancouversun.com/Vancouver+rated+fourth+best+city+world+quality+life/3072680/story.html. (seawall two blocks from our place).

2) http://www.vpl.ca. (massive central branch two blocks from our place)

3) (in our place)




Your cable television is experiencing difficulties. Please do not panic. Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones. Do not attempt sexual relations, as years of TV radiation have left your genitals withered and useless. ~Matt Groening, The Simpsons

Damn Canucks

It’s not over, we’re only down 3-1. And I haven’t lost faith. Well, in a sense I’ve lost faith. In the sense that I think we’re kinda the Chicago Cubs, just sort of destined to not break through. But I haven’t lost faith in the sense that I still care. I mean, we could be down 49-0 in a best of 99 series and I’d still be sweating that 50th game.

But, man it’s frustrating. We looked to be in such good shape going into the third period of Game 2 and since then it’s just been seven periods of hell.

The point of this blog is that twice now on this tour I’ve watched the Canucks lay a home ice egg and then gotten up on stage to play, and I just haven’t quite gotten over my Canuck disappointment in time for the rock and roll show. And so it’s taken me maybe half an hour to shake the bad mood. I just find that so ridiculous. It’s just a hockey game. And man, these are actually the glory days as far as the Canucks go. Normally we’d have been long ago eliminated. It’s been a good year, and by Canucks standards an excellent one. So if a relatively great year results in me pissed off in Missoula, MT for no real good reason, what’s the point of fandom? Just sitting around waiting for the 1 in 30 chance (at best) that this is our year, and accepting the 29 in 30 change that they’ll make me sad?

People mock the ‘bandwagon’ fan, but maybe they have it right. Get excited when things are going great, don’t sweat it too much when they aren’t. Win-win, right? Or maybe more like win-tie.

Otherwise, it’s been a really great tour but kinda heartbreaking to be apart from the family so long. Skype is a mixed blessing. It’s awesome to see them, and pretty amazing when I can actually get Henry to smile at me. But it does make you feel the separation even more acutely. Cannot wait to see them Sunday. I have a strong suspicion hanging with them will take the edge off Game 5, whatever it brings.

So Much To Love In One Photo

Tampa Bay Airport

Empty airports feel apocalyptic. Still lit up like it's midday, with countless flashing monitors. Regular announcements plugging the new free WiFi and reminding travelers of smoking regulations. But not a soul. It's fairly creepy, but more than that it's kinda depressing. I'm not entirely sure if being overly tired magnifies or diminishes these impressions. Just, you know, overall, I feel weird. Gonna be a long day.

Live Poker

So I've played six sessions so far in my return to live cash game poker. Not sure how far I want to pursue it. The upside is the games are a ton softer. And that's kind of it. The downsides are many and varied. Which would seem to make it an easy choice, except the upside is kinda major.

Sadly, the games aren't quite as soft as it first seemed. I guess I got kinda lucky my first couple tables, both in terms of opponents and in terms of the cards falling the right way. There's only been a 2/5 or higher game running about half the time I've been there (they've only run 5/10+ when Brad Booth is there, I guess he's the designated game starter at those stakes). So a lot of the 2/5 regs play 1/2. I wouldn't say there's anybody scary there, but there are a fair number of decent players. Even still, the games are definitely cuddle bear soft compared to similar stakes online.

The two biggest reasons I'm not entirely convinced that I should dedicate myself to working on my live game are variance and convenience. Convenience is kind of obvious. You really can't beat online poker for that. It's only about a ten minute walk for me to the poker room, so that's not really an issue. But it's just a much bigger commitment to take on a live session, and you can't just take a break and watch your son trying to learn how to crawl (for example). Plus, there's a fair number of unlikeable people at the tables.

As for variance, overall it should a bit easier to overcome because my edge is bigger, but the problem of course is that over any given session (or even series of sessions) the sample size is so small that a few bad breaks are tough to overcome. I was reminded of this in a bad way today when I had what must surely be my worst ever session, luck-wise, of live poker. I was all-in seven times as a significant favorite and was sucked out on every single time. Accordingly, my profit for the previous six sessions was wiped out. I was proud of myself for not tilting too much, and it certainly doesn't affect my belief in my ability to make a go at live poker. I definitely think there's a living to be made there. But it does make me wonder if I really want to pursue it, cause sessions like this are just so ridiculous. We'll see, I guess.

Here's four of the seven hands, recapped briefly:

#1. Effective stacks 200BB. I'm in the BB on a straddle hand with QQ. It limps around to SB who goes all-in. Effective stacks are $400. Against this particular opponent, it's a snap call. He has 99 and there's a nine in the window.

#2. Effective stacks 150BB. I open 7c6c OTB, a few callers. Flop is 8c5h2c. Multiway action on the flop, I get all-in with one caller. Guy has 43o. He pairs the 3 on the turn, I don't improve.

#3. Effective stacks 175BB. Get all-in on the flop with AdTd on a Th7d6d board. Villain has KdQd. Flush doesn't arrive, he rivers a K.

#4. Effective stacks 125BB. I have T8, flop is 976. Get all-in versus 85. T on the turn. At least I chopped it, but I still said 'fuck me' when the ten binked.

Preview Review V (with quotes)

The feature was Hot Tub Time Machine. Boo. Here's your preview review:

Death At A Funeral. Why can't Chris Rock make a funny movie. He's a funny guy. Why can't he pick a script to save his life? It's a mystery. Sample quote from this abysmal looking trailer: "She may be in Grade 12, but that ass is in grad school". US (Upside Score). 2. Only that high cause I'm still giving Tracy Morgan the benefit of the doubt for his fine television work. SS (Secret Score). 4. I mean, I guess there'll be twists. Whatever.

MacGruber. I actually find the SNL skits funny, but they specifically work cause of how brief they are. Extending it to feature length does not sound promising. Still, I think it should be good for some laughs, although the trailer wasn't too promising. Sample quote: "I just took an upper decker in the upstairs bathroom. That's when you do a number two in the water tank instead of the bowl. You look nice." US. 4. Probably too generous a score. SS. 2. Just a hunch, but I'm guessing MacGruber almost ruins the day, before (almost accidentally) saving it.

Get Him To The Greek. The return of Aldous Snow, from the imo very underrated Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Along with Jonah Hill from the same film (although it doesn't seem that he plays the same character). Also the same director. With just that info I'd be pretty pumped, but the trailer was actually a little flat. Fairly predictable gags. Sample quote: (in reference to a character inserting something in his rectum), "if he wants you to put the candy in the jar, you put the candy in the jar". US. 4. I think it might be better than that, but it wasn't in the trailer. SS. 6. It's not a whodunit anyway, and they didn't give too much away past the set up.

The Losers. The beginning of the MacGruber trailer was very similar in tone to the trailer for The Losers. Then you are relieved to realize that it's a farce. Sadly, The Losers is for real. This looks terrible, and (like Chris Rock) I'm really wondering why Idris Elba can't land in a halfway-decent movie. I guess American Gangster was not bad, but other then that. Here's some sample quotes: "The losers know too much, kill them". "Even the best get betrayed". "You want your life back, you're going to have steal it". "I've got a business proposition for you. It's a suicide mission". US. 1. SS. 4. Maybe it gave away more, I was too disinterested to follow the narrative.

Oh Yeah. Poker.

Originally this blog (generally speaking) was supposed to be mainly a poker blog, but that's fallen by the wayside lately. There's just something about playing 8 hours, 24-tabling, that makes blogging about it a less than attractive proposition. Short-stacking is less interesting anyway, especially as after a 15k hand day it's kinda hard to remember that tricky spot at 7:30 this morning. Further, I work on strategy with my staker, and I have signed a confidentiality agreement with him. So even if I really wanted to get into what the CO's stats would have to be for me to pop 98s from the BB (which I don't), it would probably be a breach of that agreement.

However, if there's one thing that will get a guy motivated to blog about poker, it's a downswing. And I'm on a doozy right now, a real head-scratcher. You'd think you'd get used to that, but you never really do. You do get used to the swings in general, but for some reason I just can't prepare myself for the epic downer that comes around once in a while. Right now I've had about a dozen consecutive losing sessions, and a couple of them were quite big. I've talked to enough poker players that I understand these things just happen, rationally I understand it, but intuitively, on a base level, it still just makes no sense to me. It just doesn't feel right that I can, for a couple months, grind out a slow and steady, (very) small profit. Then suddenly just have the bottom fall out.

I'm about 99% certain it's totally variance, not my play. With SSing, especially, it's easier to be confident of that. My stats haven't changed, and my ranges haven't changed. Just suddenly when I shove with 99 it's TT, with AJ it's AQ. And even more consistently, if I've got AA and the flop's paired and a maniac with a huge range is calling me down? He's got trips. When you're running good, he's paired the other flop card (or has some other totally non-sensical hand).

Actually, I should clarify that 99% thing tho. I DO think my play has worsened the downswing, if only to a small degree. I haven't had any major tilt, but I've definitely been frustrated and I know there's no way that doesn't creep into my play a bit. What I'm 99% sure of is that worse play didn't start the downswing, and worse play is not the major cause of the downswing continuing.

So. Anyway. After this horrid run I'm down about $5k in the actual games for my SSing experience. But I've earned about $50k in vpp's (based on prorating them versus the value of SuperNova Elite; if I don't make SNE they're worth about 30% less). So even in the midst of an epic downswing, the numbers still work for me. Plus, being staked, I'm only impacted by the losses in the games in that I'm not seeing profit from that part of it. I don't have to personally make up the losses, ever. So it's a reasonable income with absolutely zero risk. Which is part of why I won't quit doing it of my own volition.

I may be forced to, tho. Stars is apparently announcing in mid-April what changes they will make to minimum buy-ins. It's possible that could mean the end of SSing as we know it. I'm hearing conflicting things from 'connected' people. My gut feeling is that it will still be possible, but perhaps with a smaller player pool. Nothing we can do but wait and see.

Regardless, as long as my staker wants to put me in the games, I'll keep doing it (for the no-risk financial reasons mentioned before). But I am going to start fitting in a little 100bb poker. I'm starting to really have a craving for slow action, having solid reads on the whole table, knowing game flow, being confident that you have a significant edge in the game. Obviously a lot of the things that got me sucked into poker in the first place are missing when SSing. Don't get me wrong, I still love the game 20bb's deep. And 24 tables at a time. I burn out on 'having' to play, and it's less fun when getting crushed, but overall I still enjoy it. I'd just like a bit more of 'normal' poker. Partly so that if the SS era does fully end I won't be quite as rusty and I'll have a better sense of what I should play next. But also partly just for fun. So I'm gonna start mixing in a couple short sessions a week of live play, and maybe a few sessions playing somewhere in the 4-8 table range on a site other than Stars. Probably start at the 25c game and try to build it up, with no pressure at all. Looking forward to that.

In the meantime, here's some observations after now having SS'ed for five months:

- it's much, much harder than people think. at least 24-tabling. maintaining focus is a big part of the challenge, but there are also plenty of genuinely tough spots, and therefore plenty of opportunities to develop leaks. while there are less decisions to make than in deep stack poker, there is also less room for error. 'great' win rates are, relatively, small, which means a couple leaks can sink you pretty quick;
- you can learn a lot SSing that can be brought back to deep stack poker. i have a much better sense of what kind of hands certain 'stat types' have in their ranges than i used to, just cause i've seen so many showdowns. i've also learned there is more fold equity than i ever thought (in almost any spot), and that people spaz out in completely nonsensical ways more than i thought. pretty much always in the forums now, when people are discussing ranges, i feel like they're not giving 'air' enough credit. even the passive players go crazy every once in a while.

I actually had a bunch more, but it's late and this is long. So maybe later? Peace out.

Transatlanticism

I don't think the wife and I have a 'song', per se. Of course, it's more than possible that we do, and I've forgotten it. Like how the husbands do in sitcoms. Maybe it's Faith Hill's "This Kiss", or something similarly uninspired.

While I don't think it has official status in our marriage, I can't hear this Death Cab for Cutie song without thinking of Rachel. In the early days we had only had a few dates before I was on the road for like three months, so we basically got to know each other through phone calls and emails. I listened to the album a ton that fall, while we were having our long-distance courtship. The title song is a masterpiece. It's gotta be the most understated yet satisfying slow build in the history of recorded music (and yes, I know I'm prone to hyperbole). And when the "I need you so much closer"s finally give way to the "so come on"s, well, you gotta be dead to not be moved.

The song was a big influence on me. I quasi-pinched the "come on"s with the "hold on"s we put at the end of "Not Long For This World" on the "Smart Kid" CD. But the greater impact was emotional. I was floored by it so many times. Listening to it late at night in the dark on head phones, like a heart sick teenager. It was a bit painful, but a good pain. Cause it was hard being apart but it was exciting to be in love.

And I think about that now, when I hear the song. How great it is to be in love. You know, with somebody great.

The Atlantic was born today and I'll tell you how...
The clouds above opened up and let it out.

I was standing on the surface of a perforated sphere
When the water filled every hole.
And thousands upon thousands made an ocean,
Making islands where no island should go.
Oh no.

Those people were overjoyed; they took to their boats.
I thought it less like a lake and more like a moat.
The rhythm of my footsteps crossing flatlands to your door have been silenced forever more.
The distance is quite simply much too far for me to row
It seems farther than ever before
Oh no.

I need you so much closer...

So come on, come on...

Better Her Than Me

The wife has to go get a root canal. Her face is all swelled up (she has Henry style cheeks on one side) and she's in much pain, so she got the emergency dentist appointment and they put her on to the root canal specialist (who gets like $1400 for an hour job -- MBN). Damage will be done Monday.

As much as I'd be willing to take on the pain for her if I could, it really is probably better this way. I mean, this is the woman who gave birth to our (massive) son without so much as an aspirin. Without so much as a hospital bed. And then she giggled holding Henry while they did things I won't mention involving a needle and thread. A little toothache? I mean, come on. Me, on the other hand, should I have a pending root canal? You will not hear the end of it. Yep. Sorry, Hon. This is for the best.

Henry At The Olympics

The photo is from the Canada-Slovakia women's hockey game. You can see the blue on the right there is part of the press area. It's basically like three sections worth of what are normally prime seats (the 'club' seats, at Canucks games). I'm used to the press being relegated to the highest nether regions of the building, and the good seats being only for paying customers. It's good to be Olympic press, I guess.

Henry didn't get to go to the closing ceremony last night. I don't blame him if he feels ripped off. Katy didn't just get us great seats, she got us great seats in this section where there was amazing catering for the 'Olympic Family'. Man, I like the way those people roll. Is there like a college course you can take to be an IOC member? So we ate and drank too much and had an awesome time, perfect finish to an amazing two weeks. Not sure how the ceremony came off on TV, but in the room it was almost perfect (some of those musical choices down the stretch were head-scratchers, but I was still high off the Neil Young so I could abide).

And our neighborhood was rocking into the wee hours, but nobody smashed anything, and by dawn most people went home. It was strange to walk around today with Hamilton back open to car traffic, and no more traffic cops at every intersection, and no super long line for the SkyTrain. Kinda sad, but I'm also feeling pretty ready to resume normal life...

Gold Medal

I told many people, over the last week or so, that I was almost hoping Canada wouldn't win the gold medal in hockey. On account of how nuts I thought it would get down here.

Who was I kidding?

In a lifetime of hockey fandom, borderline obsession, this is by far the greatest moment. God bless Sidney Crosby. God bless Canada. God bless hockey.

(and, yes, it is completely beyond belief insane nuts down here. but so far peaceful nuts.)

Brace Yourself

One hour to the Gold Medal hockey game. I don't even want to think about how nuts it's going to be down here if Canada wins. Last night was the definite peak of two weeks of madness, but I have a feeling it won't compare to what'll happen tonight. I just hope people don't get stupid, win or lose. Anybody who thinks a hockey game is a good reason to riot has got serious issues, but you know, it only takes an idiot or two to get things going.

After the game we're gonna brave the crowds and walk down the couple blocks to BC Place and the Closing Ceremony. Katy came through with the ducats for that one. It's good to know people, thanks Katy! Then hopefully our building's still standing afterwards...

Grandma Dunnet and Harry are coming over to watch the game and then watch Henry while we go to the closing ceremony. He's been a little extra fussy, especially this morning which is strange cause so far he's a morning baby. But then Rachel spotted the white of his first tooth peeking through. So that explains that!

Oh, and I hit the 20% mark in my pursuit of Elite. Pretty happy I managed to stay ahead of pace amidst the Olympic madness. (with the cash we've been blowing through entertaining and whatnot, I kinda had no choice).

Five Free Minutes

Haven't had 'em in at least ten days.

This City Has Gone Nuts

Honestly. If you like crowds, or if you're the partying type, you should just get on a plane and come here. Obviously no hope in hell of getting a hotel room, but we'll figure something out. We don't have a spare bed anymore, cause we got rid of it to make Henry's bedroom a proper nursery, but you can maybe sleep in our car in the underground garage?

Yesterday we went to the women's hockey game between Canada and Slovakia. It was 18-0 for Canada. I was feeling bad for the Slovakians (I think pretty much everybody there with even an ounce of heart was), but at the end of the game they all skated around and raised their sticks to the crowd. And the crowd went absolutely nuts for them, I mean ballistic. And I realized that this was probably the greatest moment of most of their lives, playing in an NHL rink in front of 18k huge hockey fans. And I didn't feel bad for them anymore.

Then we went down to try and see Wilco at LiveCity, the free music venue two blocks down from the condo. It was, literally, the longest line I have seen in my life. Maybe a kilometer long, and ten people wide. As we told our friends who were thinking of coming down, imagine the longest line you have ever seen, and multiply it by five.

So no Wilco for us, but otherwise it's been awesome so far. The city is way more packed and excited than I expected it to be, and I was expecting a lot.

Henry As Day Patient

Babies should not have to go to hospitals, of course. But seeing that they sometimes do, thank God for the Vancouver Women's & Children's Hospital.

Our pride and joy had not one but two hernias (apparently not uncommon among male babies, something to do with the testicles descending -- true story!) This week the time finally came to get that fixed. It was stressful, but they are pretty amazing at the place. The surgery took less than an hour and the care before and after was incredible. And now, Henry has no hernias!

Preview Review IV

Grandma Dunnet came over yesterday so the wife and I became the last people in the western world to go see Avatar. It was pretty much exactly what I expected. Probably the most impressive thing I've ever seen, in terms of the visuals or special effects or whatever. And the script left no cliche unturned. I didn't think the story was that terrible, but man, the dialogue. Can't he hire someone to help him with that? Of course, when your last two movies are the two top-grossing movies of all time, you can probably be forgiven for not thinking you need help.

Anyway, I don't know if it was just because I hadn't been to the movies in quite a while, but I thought the previews looked, as a group, terrific. Easily the best bunch I've been able to bring you in the Preview Review.

SALT -- Angelina Jolie is sorta becoming the female George Clooney, imo. And not just for the endless off-screen campaigning. She mixes up her film choices pretty good between quirky stuff and very mainstream fare. And her movies always look like they'll be good, but I'm not sure she's ever made a great one. This movie falls into the very mainstream category, and it certainly doesn't look like it will be her first great movie. But it definitely looks fun. SS (secret score) 5. US (upside score) 6.

ALICE IN WONDERLAND -- I've been seeing those posters with the demented looking Johnny Depp for quite a while, and had absolutely zero interest in this movie. But the trailer flat out kicked ass. SS 4. Didn't give away THAT much, but the visuals are kind of the main point, and it sure gave those away). US 8. "It Might Get Loud" was the last trailer that increased my interest in seeing a movie this much.

ROBIN HOOD -- It is, in my opinion, patently absurd to have hard rock as the sound track to this trailer, given that it looks like it's trying to be somewhat authentic. But whatever, it's the movies, and it gets your heart pumping. Russell Crowe looks like he'll be to Kevin Costner's Robin Hood what Christian Bale was to Michael Keaton's Batman. Like, way better. SS 5. Doesn't really give away that much, but, you know, it's Robin Hood. US 8. Crowe is the anti-George Clooney. Unlikeable as all get out, but his movies are somehow always better than you think they will be.

KNIGHT AND DAY -- Terrible name. And it sounds terrible on paper. Tom Cruise is some kind of ninja-Green Beret-Men In Black-assassin-we're not sure, who gets tangled up with an unwilling Cameron Diaz, and they play cute when they're not getting shot at while driving 100 mph or on an airliner. Actually, they even play cute when that's happening. Yet for some reason, watching the preview, I was like, I wish that was playing right now. Fuck Avatar! That hasn't happened since Don King and I were at Billy Bathgate and saw a preview for Whore starting Teresa Russell and left the theater to go to it instead (I'd call it a mistake, cause Whore was dreadful, but Billy Bathgate was no screaming blue messiah either). SS 6. A lot of the money shots are clearly in the trailer, and it's not too hard to guess a lot of the plot, but at the same time I still don't know who Tom Cruise is supposed to be (is he Knight, or Day?) US 7.5. I'm starting to feel like a real slut to the mainstream. I'm probably setting myself up for disappointment, but I think this looks really good.

PERCY JACKSON -- Actually, this has a really long title. Olympians and something about Zeus maybe? I guess it's the new Harry Potter. Is that right? While I can't get too excited about this type of thing, it does look like they've done an excellent job. Maybe a little less goth than HP, which is good, but maybe a little less inspired as well. SS 6. US 6.

Olympic Fever

Man, you have no idea how much I loved the Olympics when I was a kid. I used to go the library and check out "History Of The Olympics" type books and read about Jesse Owens and Peggy Fleming and count up how many medals Canada had won over the years (that didn't take too long). I don't think too many other young boys of my time considered Percy Williams a personal hero.

I haven't really felt the excitement over the Olympics in quite a while. I mean, I'll watch. But it's hard not to get jaded in this day and age of information overload. But this week, with just a couple weeks remaining until the Vancouver Winter Olympics get under way, I officially caught Olympic Fever. I'm pumped!

It all happened last Wednesday. Rachel had been chosen to be a torch bearer as the Olympic Flame relayed its way through Kamloops, so we headed up there with Henry and Rachel's sister Katy. My sister and her kids came up too. I expected it to be cool, but honestly, it was fucking awesome! Basically the whole city came out and lined the streets (and then the football stadium where they lit the cauldron in a big ceremony at the end of the day, with bands and celebs and whatnot). It really was an electric environment. When it was Rachel's turn I completely forgot myself. I ran across the police line keeping people on the sidewalk so I could get pictures of her from the other side. I almost got run over by some kind of Olympic vehicle, and when I looked behind me my nine year-old niece Bethany was almost suffering a similar fate. So I grabbed her and we ran the rest of Rachel's stretch hand-in-hand while trying to snap pictures. So I'm the fun uncle, not the responsible one. I can live with that. I hate to use the word "magical" in the same paragraph I use the word "electric", and I promise this type of behavior will not occur regularly in this spot. But sorry. It was magical.

I've also been getting pumped just by the transformation happening in this city. You can't walk anywhere down town or around the sea wall without beginning to realize just how big a deal this is going to be. I live right in the middle of it, in a 16th floor condo. I can look out my den/poker office and see Hamilton Street, which will be closed off to only pedestrians for the length of the games. It's gonna be a zoo, and I really couldn't be more excited.

10% Done

Over 10%, actually.

Of course I'm referring to my (ill-advised?) pursuit of SuperNova Elite. I finished January safely past 100K vpp's in my pursuit of a million of the suckers. I'm well ahead of pace, and just behind pace for my unofficial goal of 1.25M vpp's (which is worth about an extra $30k compared to just the 1M).

It's going pretty good, I guess. Yeah, I'm really sick of poker, but I'm pretty sure I'm less sick of it then I would be of any other job. It's kinda how it always was, really. Fun when you're hitting flops and dragging pots (that should be on a t-shirt), and no so much when not. Only difference is, when I put in an 8-hour day and I'm running like shit the whole time, that's a fresh new hell.

It's starting to look more and more, btw, like Stars might change the min buy-ins to discourage short-stacking. If you didn't know, I have been SS"ing the last couple months . When I let that slip on cardplayer, btw, I got a few emails/PM's asking me follow up questions, and I promised to address it all in a blog. Only I haven't. So I will soon. I've just been sucking on blogging this month in general, and haven't really had a desire to write a poker blog especially after eight hours 24-tabling.

But I was saying, it looks like Stars might raise the min buy-in. I say might, cause they're not saying anything about it. But I would have thought it close to impossible a few months ago, and now it's at least possible. I have mixed feelings about that, should it come to pass. I am actually enjoying SS"ing, and there is definitely more to it then people think (again, I'll address this in an exciting blog down the road). I'm trying to get better at it, and even though I've been a loser in the game so far I'm way, way ahead after bonuses. So it's kind of low stress that way. I think I can start beating the games, but if I don't I still get paid (so long as I don't fall so far as to have my losses start being a significant portion of the bonuses -- that doesn't seem likely).

But on the other hand, I recognize why people think it's bad for the game. And I had never even tried it in my life before a few months ago, so I'm not really too stressed about having to abandon it. Basically I think if Stars studies it and feels that it will eventually lead to the games drying up in a significant way, then they should go ahead and make the change. But if they think the games will continue to thrive (which, in terms of numbers, they surely are doing now) then I don't think they should cave to the very vocal minority of full-stackers who are currently waging a propaganda war on SS'ers something fierce. It'll be interesting to see what happens over the next few months.

Playing 8 hours a day I sure notice the A game, B game, C game thing. The biggest challenge is staying focused, and I'm getting better at it (one of many things from SS'ing that will help my full stack game when I return to it). Today I was in the BB with 73o. UTG limped everyone else folded. Flop came 763r and I donked. Turn was the worst, another 6. I c/c'd his small bet. River was a random broadway card. I checked and he made another small bet. I thought I was rarely good, but this guy had given clear indications he didn't have a clue and I had really good pot odds so I called. He had 63 for the boat, only I dragged the pot. It seriously took me like 30 seconds to realize that the flop had actually been 733, so I had flopped 3's full of 7's and he had turned 3's full of 6's. FML, time for a break.

Henry As Bruiser

The boy remains in the 90's, percentile wise, for both height and weight. Power forward, I guess?

Big news is that he has his own bed now, and he is sleeping in the other room. It's only been a few nights but so far he's sleeping hard for, like, at least seven hours. That changes things around here a lot. We have some evening time to just chill out, and we have our bedroom back to ourselves. I feel like a new man.

Fallegro

Before the gig yesterday Trevor and I stopped in at this wine bar that is owned/operated by a coulpe who are supporters of the band. Turns out they have a young son as well (middle name Henry), so that's pretty much all we talked about.

We let Brett choose what to pour us (you wanna buy us a glass, you can pick the bottle) and I really loved what he chose. The bottle is called Fallegro, and it's made by an Italian winemaker named Gagliardo. I *think* he said the varietal was favorita, but I could be misremembering. It was delicious, kinda like a cross between a pinot and a riesling. But, you know, really good. Plus the bottle looked nice, so Brett sold me a couple for his cost (I'm only allowed to bring two back across the border without paying duty).

Of course, I can't really say it was my first drink of the evening, it might have tasted different if it was. I plan on finding out at home this week.

Tie-Die Everything

Open the door to my palacial suite here at the Royal Motor Inn in Moscow, Idaho, and you can see the Tie-Dye Everything store. That place has been there as long as we have been coming to Moscow. I do not understand how an exclusively tie-dye store can survive in a small town (or, really, anywhere). So without any knowledge whatsoever of its situation, I have to say I'm impressed that the Tie-Dye Everything store continues to exist.

Kudos, Tie-Dye Everything store, kudos! (Unless you are just a front for something illicit, in which case, F'shame, Tie-Dye Everything Store, f'shame).

Preview Review V

Grandma had Henry under control, so Rachel & I escaped to the motion picture's the other night. The feature presentation was "Youth In Revolt", the new Michael Cera offering. It was pretty much exactly what I expected, which almost never happens. In a good way, mainly. Nothing amazing, but pretty thoroughly amusing.

My favorite scene was when he's at this French Immersion school, and he keeps asking people questions, but they won't speak to him in English. And he says, "Are you fucking serious?" It's not the greatest line ever, but the delivery kicks ass and I laughed for about the next five minutes.

You know, people talk a lot about whether Michael Cera will last, if he'll be able to develop some range. And I understand that concern, and why lots of people think he won't be able to, that he'll go the way of Jon Heder soon enough. This movie doesn't really offer all that much to show he'll be able to break out, but he has made pretty much every movie he's been in funnier than it really should have been. So for now I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt.

Zach whatever his name is, from The Hangover, definitely showed some range. First time I've seen him not play the sort of lovable weirdo/goofball. He was just kind of a a prick in this one.

Anyway, that was just the main feature. Of course, the main reason you go to the movies is for the previews. So without further ado, here you have the fifth installment of the Preview Review. There's Upside Score (US), which is how good the movie looks like it might be, and Secret Score (SS), which is how much the preview managed to keep some small amount of plot hidden. I think this is the worst selection of trailers I've seen since I started The Preview Review. Sorry I don't have better news.

BOUNTY HUNTER -- the money scene in the trailer is when Jennifer Aniston punches Gerard Butler in the groin. I shit you not. US 1.5. Gets a half point for using "Hang Fire" as the background music. SS 4.

SHE'S OUT OF MY LEAGUE -- basically all the guys who were in Knocked Up get a chance to be the lead in at least one movie. This looks like the weakest one so far. Kind of looks like a John Hughes movie, and there's a reason they stopped making those. Well, I guess partly because he's dead. But even before that, I mean that style of movie. Done like dinner. US 2. SS 5.

COP OUT -- What fucking year is this? Black cop white cop piss off the police captain but solve the case while dispensing a mix of hilarious hijinx and high-paced action. The police captain in this one actually says, and I wrote it down, "There's a right way to do police work, then there's the way you do it." That's a line. Not just a throwaway line in this piece of shit-looking movie. It actually made it into the preview. Now, there is a chance that the whole thing's a level, it's all a send-up of 80's style buddy cop movies. In which case, I guess it should be judged differently. I don't think so, but here's hoping. US 2. Only avoids a 1 because Tracy Jordan's pretty funny in a scene where he refuses to say "who's there" after Seann William Scott's "knock knock". SS 4.

CLASH OF THE TITANS -- I. Could. Not. Care. Less. US n/a (on account of I just don't care). SS n/a (on account of I just don't care).

DEAR JOHN -- okay, I admit this one looks not bad as far as 'movies for girls' go. Trailer does a good job of giving you the low-down without spoiling too much (although maybe not that much happens). US 5. SS 7.

THE SCARIES -- standard horror movie stuff. maybe it's Zombies, I'm not sure. US 3. If you like scary movies it probably deserves higher than that. SS 4. People die, mainly in gruesome fashion.

All-In EV and The Bunching Effect

Let's just say (as an example) that in blind battles, or button vs blind battles, in hands where it gets to the button or the blinds unopened, you'll pretty much always get it in with AT+, maybe A7s+. And let's say your buddy will go with only his best Aces but will get it in with any pocket pair. You are going to run better, over the long run, in all-in EV than your buddy.

Because, on average, there will have been more opens from earlier positions by people with aces in their hands than any other card. So in this situation, where no one has opened yet, you'll have more than your share of aces left in the deck, and he'll have less than his share of cards to make sets.

Let's say AJo v 77, AIPF. AJo has 45.352% equity (a bit lower than people tend to think -- if you switch it to suited it gets up to about 48%).

Now, if we remove one of the two remaining sevens in the deck, AJo climbs all the way up to 50.04%. That's a pretty big difference, considering we're not really thinking about avoiding a set when those cards get turned over.

Now, if it's a fullring game and seven players folded before the action started, and none of them had an Ace? With 14 non-Ace cards removed, the AJ0 gets a slightly bigger bump, up about five points to 50.685%. If we make one of those removed cards a seven, it surges all the way to a 57.166% favorite.

So, just based on card removal, the hand can pick up about 12% in equity. Meanwhile, all-in EV continues to calculate your equity in the pot based on all cards being available. So, over not much time at all, the person with AJo will begin to seem luckier than the person with 77, as he drags a higher percentage of pots than the (thought to be infallible) EV calculator predicts he will.

Of course this has all been extreme. I didn't take out any J's, either, which is just basically wrong. And there will sometimes be Aces in the muck, just like often there won't be any 7's there. So the actual impact of card removal is obviously far less than 12%. But it's definitely far greater than 0%, too. Which means a player's style can affect how well they run in all-in EV (as calculated by HEM, or similar programs).

I have no idea if in reality there would be many instances where a player's style deviates from averages enough to start having card removal really affect how he runs in a meaningful way, but I now know that, theoretically at least, it's possible.

The Dansey Dream

When I was about 10 or 11 my parents bought this property on Dansey Avenue in Coquitlam and built a big house there. We only lived there a year or so but I have some really distinct memories from that time.

One time my friend James Baldwin came over and he said, 'this place is massive, do you have a maid to clean it up?' But I thought he said 'do you have it made to clean it up?' which made no sense so I said, 'uh, sort of'. And he said, 'oh, like once a week or something?' Which gave me context to understand what he had said. I was too embarrassed to backtrack, so I just said, 'yeah'. We didn't have a maid. I'm sure it's not the first lie I ever told but it's the first one I can remember.

One time my friend Craig Bateman came over for a sleepover, and we were determined to stay up all night no matter what. I remember kicking the soccer ball against the brick half wall by the garage, really late. And I remember waking up sprawled out on the stairs. Why would I pass out on the stairs?

One time I came home from Lord Baden Powell Elementary to make myself lunch, tomato soup, and I left the stove on with the pot on the stove. I can vividly remember how awful it smelled when I got home. I picked the pot up and the whole bottom of it just disintegrated. I was stressed out.

One time my brother and I had a bunch of holly that grew on this other property my parents owned, and we put it in lunch bags and went door to door and sold it. It was Christmas time. My brother would have been like five. I can remember it was a quarter a bag and sales were brisk.

One time I had to go to the doctor and have my toe nail pulled off because I had an ingrown toenail and that's the best they could do for it, so I got to stay home for a couple days after that and my parents got me PacMan for Atari.

One time I cried like a baby up in the laundry room that overlooked the backyard when people came to pick up our dog, Shondi, who we couldn't keep cause the yard wasn't big enough for her (that was the line anyway). The lady who bought the dog came and tried to cheer me up but mainly she just embarrassed me. Ten year old boys are young enough to sob over losing their dogs, but old enough to not want strange ladies to see them doing it.

The reason all this came up is lately I've been thinking about this recurring dream I used to have based around that house. I don't know when I had it last, it's been a long, long time, but it persisted for years after we had moved. The living room was two stories high, and was overlooked by the hallway to the bedrooms on the second floor. There was a railing to keep you from tumbling to your death. And when the house was being built we would go check on the progress, and the railing wasn't there yet, so we were made aware of the extreme caution required if traversing that hallway.

Anyway, in the dream my mom falls to her death and we're all there. My brother stands there, shocked, like he can't fathom what has happened. My sister is hysterical. My dad grabs my sister and says, 'don't be such a baby'. Every time. Every time I had the dream, that's what he said.