I'm The Angel Of Death

At least to Montana wildlife.

It's surprising, with the sheer number of miles we drive, that we aren't responsible for more roadkill. The only incident I really remember is way back in the day (we're talking the 90's here) a bird hit our windshield. Its soul went on to meet it's maker, but it's body got caught up in our windshield wiper. So we pulled over, and actually buried it and made a little cross. I can't remember if somebody in our group thought that was the right thing to do, or if it was supposed to be ironic. I just remember that's what we did.

Other than that, we definitely take out an insane amount of bugs, but I think we've left most creatures much bigger than that alone.

Friday night, after a sometimes surreal but definitely fun evening in Roundup, MT (I hadn't heard of it either), we had about a 200 mile drive to Helena. Post-gig drives used to happen a lot, but they're mainly a thing of the past. They're just not that pleasant, and they're probably not as safe as daytime driving either. But there weren't hotels available in Roundup, and it was a relatively early show (although we ended up not getting out of town till about 11:30pm), so we figured we may as well go for it.

Incident #1 came about 30 minutes in. A merry family of raccoons decided life would be even sweeter on the other side of the highway, so they made a mad dash. I was probably the only car within five miles of them. So on the one hand I can understand their complacency about crossing, but on the other hand I just wonder why they couldn't have waited just a moment or two. I tried some evasive maneuvers, but there were too many of them and we heard the sickening thump of at least one (I kinda think two) raccoons meeting an untimely end.

A few hours (and a small town speeding ticket, from a lady in a sweater who I am reasonably sure was in fact a cop) later, Incident #2. Everybody was sleeping except for Trevor, who was valiantly trying to assist in my efforts to not drive off the road. Suddenly a creature appeared in our headlights. Trevor thinks it was like a groundhog or something. I saw it as more a rabbit or cat. Whatever it was, it is no longer.

You know, they always tell you not to swerve if you see wildlife. Partly (probably mainly) because you don't want to either hit traffic coming the other way, or put yourself in the ditch, or whatever. But also, in my experience, a lot of these critters will get out of your way if you let 'em. If you swerve maybe you create like when you're trying to walk past someone and you both keep adjusting into each other's paths. But I think, ultimately, it's a group effort. I try to miss them, they try to miss me, and we get there together. I'm not sure what went wrong this night. Whether because i was on the tired side I didn't adjust as quickly, or if it was just bad luck. In any event, it really sucks. In the words of Gordon Gano, "We don't want no killin', Lord". I especially don't want to do none my own self.