Putting Backpack Gate To Shame

Faithful readers may recall Backpack Gate was when I practically zoomed to the top of the Grouse Grind, ahead of my pregnant wife. And when she reached the top I remembered she was carrying the heavy backpack. She was none too pleased. Well, friends, if you think letting my pregnant wife carrying a backpack up a mountain made me an asshole, you aint seen nothing yet.

Next week, while I gallivant about the country living the dream, my seven-months-pregnant wife will move all our earthly possessions from our Richards Street condo to our Cambie Street condo. Can't you just see her now, trying to carry the couch on her back out to the elevator? Hopefully a neighbor will take pity and grab half. I mean, she's pregnant. Have some manners, for fuck's sake.

Okay, obviously I'm being hyperbolic. The actual heavy lifting will be done by trained professionals. And we're gonna get her some help even with non-heavy non-lifting type tasks. But fact of the matter is, she still has copious amounts of work to do over the next week or so, not even counting her day job. And while she does that work, I will in fact be gallivanting. I had to give her power of attorney last week, cause I can't even be expected to sign papers myself.

In my defense, the whole thing just came together so fast there was no possible way I could have scheduled road trips around it. We knew we were going to need a bigger place soon, what with a child en route and all, but we figured we could last a while in our shoebox. But still thought we may as well look around at what was out there. If we could go from our 600 sqft to, say, 800 or so, it might be worth the effort. But the way over-list price we got on our place, combined with the under-list offer that was accepted on our new place, made a move make sense. The new spot is 1100 sqft, which is obviously going to be hugely different. It's actually imaginable that we could stay in the new place fairly permanently.

At least, it will be imaginable once we reno the place. It had been tenanted out, and it's pretty dirty. To the point of kind of gross. We're gonna do it in stages, the first of which will happen immediately after we take possession September 1. Which means when I come home from this tour it will be neither to my old home nor my new home, but rather to the furnished condo we rent for a few weeks while our place is de-grossified.

Man, there's a lot going on at home right now. In addition to all this, my mom just got home from the hospital, my dad's still there, and my parents are trying to sell their restaurant and their house. Meanwhile, I'm in a bar in Spearfish, South Dakota. Seriously, what the fuck? It's hard to imagine this is where I'm supposed to be.