So I’m at the motion pictures (“The Proposal” – yes, it was as bad as the previews, don’t let the mildly positive reviews that are floating about fool you). And I’m using the latrine. And there’s a whole bank of urinals, and nobody at all in there, so I choose one right at the edge, cause that’s what you do.
And then another guy comes in and he steps up and employs the urinal to my immediate left. I mean, our elbows are practically touching. There are like eight or nine perfectly functioning, unattended urinals for him to choose from, and instead he stands right beside me. What’s up with that? I remain perplexed.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
Poker Suckz
Nah. I don’t really feel that way. I’m just frustrated. Truthfully I love poker. Even when I can’t get anything going, which is true for like a month now, I still love playing the game. Which might even be a hindrance, by the by, because it maybe makes me a little bit less motivated to improve than I might be if losing sessions really tore me apart.
But yeah, I just finished a session where I lost seven buy-ins and should have been up three in terms of all-in EV (for non-poker players out there, that means that on hands where I got all-in before the river, if I had exactly neutral luck, I would have a thousand more dollars than I do now). All-in EV is of course far and away the most popular way that grinding poker players measure their luck, even though we all know it’s a very small component of our overall luck. It’s just the most easily quantifiable. Now because the poker tracking software spits out a number for you. But even before that, it’s just pretty easy to see that when you get it in with top set against somebody’s flush draw and he gets there, you’re running below expectation.
I was gonna write a lot about poker luck in this blog, because as much as it gets discussed I think it’s still really misunderstood, on a gut level, by most players. But I’m gonna save that for another day, cause even though I ran terrible today I don’t think my general poker malaise has been caused by bad luck. I’ve just been playing bad.
Sure, it might have been started by running poorly, at least relative to my fairly significant upswing through the spring. But even then, if my skill set was higher I would have not been affected by running badly for as long or as much. And of course being mentally tough is a HUGE part of making a go of poker professionally, so if that skill let me down it’s just as legitimate a failure as if I call too many 3bets (which, of course, I invariably do).
But as my results slid, my game (such as it is) definitely started to head south with it. Some tilty tendencies that hadn’t really appeared for a few months started to show up with increasing regularly, till all of a sudden I realize I’m playing my “C” game pretty much all the time. My VPIP is through the roof, which is always a sure sign. Plus, I had a routine (for warm up and session review) that was working fairly well. About a week ago it occurred to me I hadn’t been doing in the last couple weeks, and somehow I haven’t resumed doing it yet. Even though resuming it will help instantly. So that's a pretty epic fail.
The most disappointing thing to me is that I feel right before this stretch started I was really on the verge of starting to play some very good poker. I was slowly but surely improving all the leaks I was aware of, and starting to feel quite grounded and confident (of course, winning does that, but it seemed to go even beyond that).
The upside is that I was well-rolled, so in terms of actual real life dollars this downswing hasn’t cost me anything. I’m prepared to move down another level if need be, so I shouldn’t have to deposit for quite some time if ever. And I’m still withdrawing the rakeback, so making a not insignificant real life side income even while losing in the games (although that can almost be a detriment as I sometimes feel obsessed with getting in the hands so that the rakeback will be significant, when I’m probably better off playing less hours or less tables or both). Plus, my whole poker career has definitely been two steps forward, one step back, and my biggest improvements have always followed discouraging periods. So hopefully that's around the corner.
Bottom line is I remain optimistic, but I obviously need to totally reboot immediately and find the ol' A game. Tempted to take a poker break, but I think it’s really important to learn to play through these periods and get the game back on track quicker. I’m just going to review some videos that I think were most helpful to me in the past, hold myself harshly to the routines I set out for myself, play less tables (don’t worry about rakeback), and get my VPIP and other stats back in line. The results will follow, sooner or later.
Playing/running bad and having the mental toughness to handle downswings are of course inexorably linked. I don't know if it's the single most important thing if you want to be a poker pro, but if not it's tied for first. Cause I definitely cannot expect to do this for a living without considerable ability to shake off losses and recurring bad beats. May as well take advantage of the fine opportunity I currently have to work on that.
But yeah, I just finished a session where I lost seven buy-ins and should have been up three in terms of all-in EV (for non-poker players out there, that means that on hands where I got all-in before the river, if I had exactly neutral luck, I would have a thousand more dollars than I do now). All-in EV is of course far and away the most popular way that grinding poker players measure their luck, even though we all know it’s a very small component of our overall luck. It’s just the most easily quantifiable. Now because the poker tracking software spits out a number for you. But even before that, it’s just pretty easy to see that when you get it in with top set against somebody’s flush draw and he gets there, you’re running below expectation.
I was gonna write a lot about poker luck in this blog, because as much as it gets discussed I think it’s still really misunderstood, on a gut level, by most players. But I’m gonna save that for another day, cause even though I ran terrible today I don’t think my general poker malaise has been caused by bad luck. I’ve just been playing bad.
Sure, it might have been started by running poorly, at least relative to my fairly significant upswing through the spring. But even then, if my skill set was higher I would have not been affected by running badly for as long or as much. And of course being mentally tough is a HUGE part of making a go of poker professionally, so if that skill let me down it’s just as legitimate a failure as if I call too many 3bets (which, of course, I invariably do).
But as my results slid, my game (such as it is) definitely started to head south with it. Some tilty tendencies that hadn’t really appeared for a few months started to show up with increasing regularly, till all of a sudden I realize I’m playing my “C” game pretty much all the time. My VPIP is through the roof, which is always a sure sign. Plus, I had a routine (for warm up and session review) that was working fairly well. About a week ago it occurred to me I hadn’t been doing in the last couple weeks, and somehow I haven’t resumed doing it yet. Even though resuming it will help instantly. So that's a pretty epic fail.
The most disappointing thing to me is that I feel right before this stretch started I was really on the verge of starting to play some very good poker. I was slowly but surely improving all the leaks I was aware of, and starting to feel quite grounded and confident (of course, winning does that, but it seemed to go even beyond that).
The upside is that I was well-rolled, so in terms of actual real life dollars this downswing hasn’t cost me anything. I’m prepared to move down another level if need be, so I shouldn’t have to deposit for quite some time if ever. And I’m still withdrawing the rakeback, so making a not insignificant real life side income even while losing in the games (although that can almost be a detriment as I sometimes feel obsessed with getting in the hands so that the rakeback will be significant, when I’m probably better off playing less hours or less tables or both). Plus, my whole poker career has definitely been two steps forward, one step back, and my biggest improvements have always followed discouraging periods. So hopefully that's around the corner.
Bottom line is I remain optimistic, but I obviously need to totally reboot immediately and find the ol' A game. Tempted to take a poker break, but I think it’s really important to learn to play through these periods and get the game back on track quicker. I’m just going to review some videos that I think were most helpful to me in the past, hold myself harshly to the routines I set out for myself, play less tables (don’t worry about rakeback), and get my VPIP and other stats back in line. The results will follow, sooner or later.
Playing/running bad and having the mental toughness to handle downswings are of course inexorably linked. I don't know if it's the single most important thing if you want to be a poker pro, but if not it's tied for first. Cause I definitely cannot expect to do this for a living without considerable ability to shake off losses and recurring bad beats. May as well take advantage of the fine opportunity I currently have to work on that.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Weddings & Birthdays & Such
I’m on SkyTrain, burbs-bound. My sister is picking me up at Lougheed Station, and then we’re driving to Eagle Ridge Hospital for some kind of multi-health care professional pow wow on my Dad’s living situation. As he tends to be less than realistic/forthcoming about his challenges, my sister wants to be there to keep things real. And as contradicting/challenging my Dad is difficult to the point of traumatic for all his children, Carolyn wants me there for support. Which I fully understand and appreciate. Hence my current location.
It’s gonna be a crazy morning, cause Jason is picking me up from the condo at noon. We’re heading out on about a 17-day band jaunt, which was kid’s stuff back in the day but nearly qualifies as epic in the here and now. Speaking of epic, I think this blog might get long. Cause I haven’t updated in a while, and cause I’m a fast typer on a counterflow SkyTrain (plenty of room for a fella and his laptop to kick it). I don’t think I’ll get to the pokerz, which were the original impetus for starting a blog, so next blog will be pokercentric (you’ve been warned, Reba).
So, let’s see. What’s happened recently? On reflection, lots. Last Friday was my birthday. Easily the least-celebrated of all my birthdays. Which is not a complaint at all. I’m a low key guy and don’t take well to feting of any kind, so this is not at all like Chris Hamilton lamenting his cake-free birthday in Twin Falls, Idaho (too inside a reference?) But it is just kind of weird to not have a family gathering, kind of sad in relation to all the craziness going on with the parents. First time, ever, to not gather with my birth family on a birthday. Things change, I guess.
Rachel took me to Morton’s Steakhouse. Seemed a good spot to spend my last childless (God-willing) birthday. We split the $125 Porterhouse. Can’t say whether it justifies the price tag, but it was definitely the best steak I’ve ever had. Afterwards Katy joined us at the Granville Cinemas for The Brothers Bloom. Where we were the worst movie companions for poor Katy, like, ever. My stomach was adversely affected by the steak (still worth it), plus I had to meet Tyler to give him a key for the guest suite in our building, so I would say I missed about half the show. And Rachel was quite tired, literally doing the fall-asleep head bob during most of it. But I think Katy quite liked the show. I liked what I saw of it, will endeavor to see it again sometime.
Saturday was Trevor’s wedding. I think it went off perfect. Beautiful and natural and elegant enough but still low-key. The ceremony was down at Jericho Beach. It threatened to rain, but never did. Was actually quite pleasant, and the rain forecasts kept the amount of riff raff (or, I guess, random beach visitors, to be more polite about it) to a minimum. It all went without a hitch, except that Trevor’s Uncle Jack cut up my tuxedo jacket. See, the pins for the boutonnieres were nowhere to be found, so Trevor just got his uncle to cut a small slit in the lapel of his jacket (where there’s kind of a slit already, it’s just sewn shut, so Uncle Jack just cut it open). Unfortunately, he kind of missed the mark on mine, and just sort of cut up the jacket a little bit in the general vicinity of that slit. Looked pretty bad, but it’s a few days later and I’ve yet to hear from Black & Lee. So, you know, fingers crossed. I don’t think those things are that expensive anyway.
Reception was at Ma & Pa Rogers homestead out in Lander, and like the ceremony it was pretty awesome, imho. I got kinda happy on the supply of Joie’s finest that Mike Dinn got us to deliver to the party, which if you’re gonna get happy is a good way to do it. I have heard since that I was quite loud in my appreciation for the hamburgers (Costco Angus burgers, or so I’m told), but whatever. Nothing wrong with expressing a little appreciation.
Jason put together a bluegrass band to play for the duration. Of course at some point Trevor got up to play a couple, so Reba took over on fiddle, Tyler played some percussion, and I got on upright bass. So it was a Clumsy Lovers concert, albeit a brief one. To say I’m a terrible upright bass player is far too kind, but I was in the mood for it and it was tremendous fun. We did a Trevor original and then “Will The Circle” and “Cluck Old Hen”, and then I saw Trevor’s brother Mark looking on. He’s a bass player too so I waved him in, even though I kind of regretted it because I really was enjoying myself and then Trevor’s friend Greg got up and they did “Stand By Me” and “Love Is The Seventh Wave” and I would have enjoyed playing those tunes. But it’s good to be inclusive.
Sunday was the Grouse Grind, which was awesome notwithstanding backpackgate. Tyler and his mother Connie, who was in town for Trevor’s shindig/wedding, and Katy came along. Now I’ve only completed the Grind twice before. And generally Rachel, who is far better/faster at this sort of thing than yours truly, carries a pack with a change of clothes for the top and water and whatnot. And this time I went out a bit quicker than her (she is pregnant, after all). Which happened last time too, only I needed frequent breaks so she caught up quick enough and eventually had to wait for me. This time, however, I don’t know why but I didn’t really feel I needed any breaks. It was good grinding conditions, kind of cool, relatively quiet on the path, and I just felt really good.
I finished it in 71 minutes (my previous two times were 2 hours and 90 minutes). 71 minutes was straight up shocking to me. Not that it’s a great time in the real world, but compared to my previous times I just didn’t see it coming. I think that’s it for big sudden improvements, tho. I think I’m going to have to really earn future improvements.
But oh yeah, backpackgate. So I’m at the top and sitting on the deck watching for Rachel to appear at the end of the path, and when I do see her I know I’m in trouble. I say as much to Katy, but she says no, Rachel just hasn’t seen me yet. I know better. I know the difference between ‘not seeing me’ and ‘seeing me with bad thoughts’. I don’t blame her for the bad thoughts. I just let my pregnant wife carry a relatively heavy backpack up a mountain while I made my merry unencumbered way up ahead. It looks bad on paper. And also looks bad in real life. So I screwed up there. To her credit, Rachel didn’t stay mad, and was very supportive of my PB time. She did mention several times that she was having quite substantial “hate thoughts” towards the end of the climb. But in the main she let me off pretty easy. Cause she’s good like that.
It’s gonna be a crazy morning, cause Jason is picking me up from the condo at noon. We’re heading out on about a 17-day band jaunt, which was kid’s stuff back in the day but nearly qualifies as epic in the here and now. Speaking of epic, I think this blog might get long. Cause I haven’t updated in a while, and cause I’m a fast typer on a counterflow SkyTrain (plenty of room for a fella and his laptop to kick it). I don’t think I’ll get to the pokerz, which were the original impetus for starting a blog, so next blog will be pokercentric (you’ve been warned, Reba).
So, let’s see. What’s happened recently? On reflection, lots. Last Friday was my birthday. Easily the least-celebrated of all my birthdays. Which is not a complaint at all. I’m a low key guy and don’t take well to feting of any kind, so this is not at all like Chris Hamilton lamenting his cake-free birthday in Twin Falls, Idaho (too inside a reference?) But it is just kind of weird to not have a family gathering, kind of sad in relation to all the craziness going on with the parents. First time, ever, to not gather with my birth family on a birthday. Things change, I guess.
Rachel took me to Morton’s Steakhouse. Seemed a good spot to spend my last childless (God-willing) birthday. We split the $125 Porterhouse. Can’t say whether it justifies the price tag, but it was definitely the best steak I’ve ever had. Afterwards Katy joined us at the Granville Cinemas for The Brothers Bloom. Where we were the worst movie companions for poor Katy, like, ever. My stomach was adversely affected by the steak (still worth it), plus I had to meet Tyler to give him a key for the guest suite in our building, so I would say I missed about half the show. And Rachel was quite tired, literally doing the fall-asleep head bob during most of it. But I think Katy quite liked the show. I liked what I saw of it, will endeavor to see it again sometime.
Saturday was Trevor’s wedding. I think it went off perfect. Beautiful and natural and elegant enough but still low-key. The ceremony was down at Jericho Beach. It threatened to rain, but never did. Was actually quite pleasant, and the rain forecasts kept the amount of riff raff (or, I guess, random beach visitors, to be more polite about it) to a minimum. It all went without a hitch, except that Trevor’s Uncle Jack cut up my tuxedo jacket. See, the pins for the boutonnieres were nowhere to be found, so Trevor just got his uncle to cut a small slit in the lapel of his jacket (where there’s kind of a slit already, it’s just sewn shut, so Uncle Jack just cut it open). Unfortunately, he kind of missed the mark on mine, and just sort of cut up the jacket a little bit in the general vicinity of that slit. Looked pretty bad, but it’s a few days later and I’ve yet to hear from Black & Lee. So, you know, fingers crossed. I don’t think those things are that expensive anyway.
Reception was at Ma & Pa Rogers homestead out in Lander, and like the ceremony it was pretty awesome, imho. I got kinda happy on the supply of Joie’s finest that Mike Dinn got us to deliver to the party, which if you’re gonna get happy is a good way to do it. I have heard since that I was quite loud in my appreciation for the hamburgers (Costco Angus burgers, or so I’m told), but whatever. Nothing wrong with expressing a little appreciation.
Jason put together a bluegrass band to play for the duration. Of course at some point Trevor got up to play a couple, so Reba took over on fiddle, Tyler played some percussion, and I got on upright bass. So it was a Clumsy Lovers concert, albeit a brief one. To say I’m a terrible upright bass player is far too kind, but I was in the mood for it and it was tremendous fun. We did a Trevor original and then “Will The Circle” and “Cluck Old Hen”, and then I saw Trevor’s brother Mark looking on. He’s a bass player too so I waved him in, even though I kind of regretted it because I really was enjoying myself and then Trevor’s friend Greg got up and they did “Stand By Me” and “Love Is The Seventh Wave” and I would have enjoyed playing those tunes. But it’s good to be inclusive.
Sunday was the Grouse Grind, which was awesome notwithstanding backpackgate. Tyler and his mother Connie, who was in town for Trevor’s shindig/wedding, and Katy came along. Now I’ve only completed the Grind twice before. And generally Rachel, who is far better/faster at this sort of thing than yours truly, carries a pack with a change of clothes for the top and water and whatnot. And this time I went out a bit quicker than her (she is pregnant, after all). Which happened last time too, only I needed frequent breaks so she caught up quick enough and eventually had to wait for me. This time, however, I don’t know why but I didn’t really feel I needed any breaks. It was good grinding conditions, kind of cool, relatively quiet on the path, and I just felt really good.
I finished it in 71 minutes (my previous two times were 2 hours and 90 minutes). 71 minutes was straight up shocking to me. Not that it’s a great time in the real world, but compared to my previous times I just didn’t see it coming. I think that’s it for big sudden improvements, tho. I think I’m going to have to really earn future improvements.
But oh yeah, backpackgate. So I’m at the top and sitting on the deck watching for Rachel to appear at the end of the path, and when I do see her I know I’m in trouble. I say as much to Katy, but she says no, Rachel just hasn’t seen me yet. I know better. I know the difference between ‘not seeing me’ and ‘seeing me with bad thoughts’. I don’t blame her for the bad thoughts. I just let my pregnant wife carry a relatively heavy backpack up a mountain while I made my merry unencumbered way up ahead. It looks bad on paper. And also looks bad in real life. So I screwed up there. To her credit, Rachel didn’t stay mad, and was very supportive of my PB time. She did mention several times that she was having quite substantial “hate thoughts” towards the end of the climb. But in the main she let me off pretty easy. Cause she’s good like that.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Abbotsford, You Have Been Rocked
In the early days of my life as an actual paid musician, I started gigging with this guitar player named Quintin. He was a great fella, and a great player, we had some fine times together. Anyway, even though it was early days, The Clumsy Lovers were already pretty entrenched in our touring pattern. Which is to say, we headed south into America (as opposed to the typical Canadian band route of heading east and taking on our home and native land). Quintin had just quit a band that did the Canadian touring, so I asked him about it, curious if it was something we should start doing more. His short answer was 'hell no'.
His long answer, or I guess medium answer, was that while touring Canada they would often play packed bars and the whole place would basically ignore the band while they were playing and then on breaks the DJ would play the most predictable possible party tunes and the whole place would erupt, everyone would dance and go crazy. And the band would have to dejectedly retake the stage after stalling as long as possible backstage, just to have the party break up right as they started their next set. Talk about soul crushing.
Most of the Canadian touring we've done has not been at the type of venue where nothing gets the locals more excited than Bob Seger's "Old Time Rock And Roll", so while I have witnessed what Quintin described on one or two unfortunate occasions, for the most part it's been avoided. The Duke Of Dublin, in Abbotsford, however, does indeed have that particular type of clientele. We played six sets over two nights there last weekend. We're trying to play more in the general area, when possible, seeing Trevor's got a brand new baby boy and I'm soon to boast the same. And while it is an arduous journey and a long night out there, it's still pretty sweet to sleep in your own bed or have a Saturday afternoon seawall walk. But yeah. It's definitely a "Canadian" gig.
It's not all bad, tho. The staff, especially the manager Wendy, are very nice. As are the patrons, who while not wildly enthusiastic, do tap their toes and smile in our direction. Actually, we pander quite heavily coming out of the dance party breaks by going into like Brown Eyed Girl or whatever we think might keep them going at least for a little bit. So we bond with them there, even if band and audience alike probably know it's a tenuous bond at best.
I'm not sure why the lame-set, dance-party-on-break thing is specific to Canadian gigs. I just know it is. And I don't know why the purveyors of these establishments bother hiring bands. I just know they do. Oh, and I also know the songs they play for the set list dance party. It's always the same, here's a partial list.
"Sweet Home Alabama" -- Lynyrd Skynrd
"Shook Me All Night Long" -- AC/DC
"Here For A Good Time" -- Trooper
"Old Time Rock And Roll" -- Bob Seger
"Pour Some Sugar On Me" -- Def Leppard
"Home For A Rest" -- Spirit Of The West
I'm forgetting some of the standards. Seriously the same songs every night. Maybe Reba remembers some more.
His long answer, or I guess medium answer, was that while touring Canada they would often play packed bars and the whole place would basically ignore the band while they were playing and then on breaks the DJ would play the most predictable possible party tunes and the whole place would erupt, everyone would dance and go crazy. And the band would have to dejectedly retake the stage after stalling as long as possible backstage, just to have the party break up right as they started their next set. Talk about soul crushing.
Most of the Canadian touring we've done has not been at the type of venue where nothing gets the locals more excited than Bob Seger's "Old Time Rock And Roll", so while I have witnessed what Quintin described on one or two unfortunate occasions, for the most part it's been avoided. The Duke Of Dublin, in Abbotsford, however, does indeed have that particular type of clientele. We played six sets over two nights there last weekend. We're trying to play more in the general area, when possible, seeing Trevor's got a brand new baby boy and I'm soon to boast the same. And while it is an arduous journey and a long night out there, it's still pretty sweet to sleep in your own bed or have a Saturday afternoon seawall walk. But yeah. It's definitely a "Canadian" gig.
It's not all bad, tho. The staff, especially the manager Wendy, are very nice. As are the patrons, who while not wildly enthusiastic, do tap their toes and smile in our direction. Actually, we pander quite heavily coming out of the dance party breaks by going into like Brown Eyed Girl or whatever we think might keep them going at least for a little bit. So we bond with them there, even if band and audience alike probably know it's a tenuous bond at best.
I'm not sure why the lame-set, dance-party-on-break thing is specific to Canadian gigs. I just know it is. And I don't know why the purveyors of these establishments bother hiring bands. I just know they do. Oh, and I also know the songs they play for the set list dance party. It's always the same, here's a partial list.
"Sweet Home Alabama" -- Lynyrd Skynrd
"Shook Me All Night Long" -- AC/DC
"Here For A Good Time" -- Trooper
"Old Time Rock And Roll" -- Bob Seger
"Pour Some Sugar On Me" -- Def Leppard
"Home For A Rest" -- Spirit Of The West
I'm forgetting some of the standards. Seriously the same songs every night. Maybe Reba remembers some more.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Grinding (Grouse And Poker)
For those of you who are not from the area, the Grouse Grind is a gruelling hike that takes you basically straight up the face of a local mountain. We have a lot of sickos in this area, so it's a very popular spot when it's open from late spring - early fall. However long and steep it is, I assure you it feels much worse. But check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grouse_Grind#Grouse_Grind if you want the official stats.
Anyway, yesterday Rachel calls me up and says I shouldn't decide right now but would I consider doing the grind with her tomorrow (today) after work. I can honestly say, there are not many things I can think of that I would rather do less. I mean, sure, the usual, I don't know, give myself a million paper cuts type things. But for honest to goodness, reasonable, ordinary things? Grouse Grind is low on the list. But you know, she is carrying my offspring (and my offspring's penis) around in her stomach, and I'm away a lot, and she doesn't really ask me very often to do something like this. So I consented, and round about 5:30pm I was driving dejectedly up Cap Road.
I did the Grind for the first time last year. I am a slow hiker, it turns out. Not that I expected different. But it took me about two hours (Wikipedia says the average is 90 minutes, but my uberwife can do it well under an hour). Despite swearing I would never try it again, I did attempt it a couple weeks later when Tyler was in town and wanted to do it. I got a DNF that time, as I felt strange and bailed about a 1/4 of the way through (Rachel later pointed out that it was probably because I hadn't eaten or drank anything that day before starting my hike mid-afternoon). Tyler, conversely, strolled up the thing like it was nothing. Fucking young people.
Anyway, this account is already getting too long. Suffice it to say I made it up again, this time in around 90 minutes. Have to admit it's pretty satisfying to chop 30 minutes off the previous PB. I guess the workouts at Mixx aren't a complete waste of time. It was still hellaciously hard, and that's definitely as sweaty as I ever get, but I guess it was easier than last year. And holy smokes, if you want to be impressed, check out my pregnant wife only slowing down cause I need a break. Well, I'm impressed anyway.
As for the other grinding, the poker. Man, what a hard way to make easy money. It's been trying psychologically lately. Going on close to a month of just about break even. Typical pattern is a ferocious downswing over a couple days followed by a long slow recovery. It's not disastrous. I haven't come close to having to taken money out of real life and put it in poker, and with the exception of one week I've still been pulling the rakeback offline weekly. So even in the midst of this stagnant period there's some decent real life income. But at the same time, these very long break even stretches tell me that my game overall isn't good enough. If I was beating the games by a less marginal amount, I would still have downswings but they would be shorter and less frequent. Which is obviously the goal. Quit sucking. IMO, I am now good enough to make a living playing poker. But amongst people who can say that, which is a very small % of overall poker players, I am sure I am in one of the lowest percentiles, skill-wise. So I'm good enough, but barely. I'd like to become average amongst the good-enough's. That's not too lofty a dream, is it?
Anyway, after two/three absolutely brutal days, I booked a 12 buy-in winning day today. That's pretty big. Feels like a LONG time since I had one of those, and so all is right in pokerland for the moment. But fear not, gentle reader. That does not mean complacency will set in. I'm pretty motivated right now to rise at least a few percentile over the coming weeks. You know I'll keep you updated.
Anyway, yesterday Rachel calls me up and says I shouldn't decide right now but would I consider doing the grind with her tomorrow (today) after work. I can honestly say, there are not many things I can think of that I would rather do less. I mean, sure, the usual, I don't know, give myself a million paper cuts type things. But for honest to goodness, reasonable, ordinary things? Grouse Grind is low on the list. But you know, she is carrying my offspring (and my offspring's penis) around in her stomach, and I'm away a lot, and she doesn't really ask me very often to do something like this. So I consented, and round about 5:30pm I was driving dejectedly up Cap Road.
I did the Grind for the first time last year. I am a slow hiker, it turns out. Not that I expected different. But it took me about two hours (Wikipedia says the average is 90 minutes, but my uberwife can do it well under an hour). Despite swearing I would never try it again, I did attempt it a couple weeks later when Tyler was in town and wanted to do it. I got a DNF that time, as I felt strange and bailed about a 1/4 of the way through (Rachel later pointed out that it was probably because I hadn't eaten or drank anything that day before starting my hike mid-afternoon). Tyler, conversely, strolled up the thing like it was nothing. Fucking young people.
Anyway, this account is already getting too long. Suffice it to say I made it up again, this time in around 90 minutes. Have to admit it's pretty satisfying to chop 30 minutes off the previous PB. I guess the workouts at Mixx aren't a complete waste of time. It was still hellaciously hard, and that's definitely as sweaty as I ever get, but I guess it was easier than last year. And holy smokes, if you want to be impressed, check out my pregnant wife only slowing down cause I need a break. Well, I'm impressed anyway.
As for the other grinding, the poker. Man, what a hard way to make easy money. It's been trying psychologically lately. Going on close to a month of just about break even. Typical pattern is a ferocious downswing over a couple days followed by a long slow recovery. It's not disastrous. I haven't come close to having to taken money out of real life and put it in poker, and with the exception of one week I've still been pulling the rakeback offline weekly. So even in the midst of this stagnant period there's some decent real life income. But at the same time, these very long break even stretches tell me that my game overall isn't good enough. If I was beating the games by a less marginal amount, I would still have downswings but they would be shorter and less frequent. Which is obviously the goal. Quit sucking. IMO, I am now good enough to make a living playing poker. But amongst people who can say that, which is a very small % of overall poker players, I am sure I am in one of the lowest percentiles, skill-wise. So I'm good enough, but barely. I'd like to become average amongst the good-enough's. That's not too lofty a dream, is it?
Anyway, after two/three absolutely brutal days, I booked a 12 buy-in winning day today. That's pretty big. Feels like a LONG time since I had one of those, and so all is right in pokerland for the moment. But fear not, gentle reader. That does not mean complacency will set in. I'm pretty motivated right now to rise at least a few percentile over the coming weeks. You know I'll keep you updated.
Monday, June 8, 2009
A Boy
I used to hear all the time about how Vancouver’s Chinatown was the second largest in North America. I think behind San Francisco’s, or maybe LA’s. I dunno. I never hear about it anymore. Maybe it’s old news. Maybe we’ve slipped to third or fourth. Maybe Vancouver just has more to brag about these days. Whatever it is, I practically forget that I live only maybe half a dozen blocks from North America's X-largest Chinatown. It's pretty interesting, actually. I should visit more often.
Got down there today cause that's where the ultrasound clinic is located. We were told that there would be no revealing of the sex because we're not yet at 20 weeks. So we're still not sure, but the clinician did point out our child's penis on the ultrasound screen. So it's not official, but we have our suspicions.
I pretty much knew it was going to be a boy, except for that whole thing of "I'm sure it's a boy so it's probably a girl". So the reverse psychology double switcheroo surprise didn't happen, which makes me officially surprised. Seeing my little guy flailing about in there, kicking and waving and whatnot, does kick things up a notch on the 'feeling real' meter. And it was already plenty high. Strange to feel so much affection for a computer screen.
Got down there today cause that's where the ultrasound clinic is located. We were told that there would be no revealing of the sex because we're not yet at 20 weeks. So we're still not sure, but the clinician did point out our child's penis on the ultrasound screen. So it's not official, but we have our suspicions.
I pretty much knew it was going to be a boy, except for that whole thing of "I'm sure it's a boy so it's probably a girl". So the reverse psychology double switcheroo surprise didn't happen, which makes me officially surprised. Seeing my little guy flailing about in there, kicking and waving and whatnot, does kick things up a notch on the 'feeling real' meter. And it was already plenty high. Strange to feel so much affection for a computer screen.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Departures (Tournaments and Towns)
Man, I’m on a definite roll with the blog titles. I so could have called this one “Leaving Las Vegas”, but I did not. Even though that’s what I’m doing. And it’s also a famous song. And a movie. And a phrase you can say and it sounds like you said at least a tiny bit more than you did.
I was scheduled to depart Friday around noon, yet here it is Wednesday morning and I’m waiting to board. You know, I just haven’t been feeling that well here, been having a hard time sleeping, have some kind of cold/flu, etc. Last night the wife suggested I should come home early, and I didn’t take it too serious cause I had just kind of accepted the ‘official’ schedule.
Before heading up to my room I stopped and played a video poker machine for a minute. Yeah, that’s a leak, whatever. Anyway, there was this couple probably in their late 20’s, playing slots nearby. She was quite good looking, he kind of looked like Danny McBride (you know, the guy from Pineapple Express/Tropic Thunder). Actually they both looked pretty dated, she was just pulling it off better. I guess the guy had taken some bad losses, and he was full on losing it on her. She just kept staring straight ahead while he went, blaming her for his busto status cause she’s the one who wanted to come to Vegas in the first fucking place. And then she finally told him, in a very calm voice still looking straight ahead, to get lost, and she was tired of him hitting her. And he picks up a chair, I shit you not, and hoists it over his head prepared to smash her with it, before thinking better of it, putting it down, and throwing himself to the ground. I guess I should have jumped in, but I didn't want to get shot. So I went and found security and told them and then went up to my room. And it was just kind of the last straw for me. Vegas seemed full of villains this time. Maybe cause the wife wasn’t there to balance it out, go to a show and stuff like that. Just everybody seemed either a hustler or an asshole or both, and when they weren’t they were working for tips so they probably were.
I just decided spur of the moment to pack my bag and head to the airport, where I got a very reasonably priced ticket home. Feels good to be leaving.
Oh, and just to not leave you hanging, I had a very inglorious exit from the Caesar’s tourney. First hand of Day 2 I was in the BB and folded to a raise. Second hand I was in the SB and raised the (short stack) BB all-in with 36o. He folded. Third hand I was on the button with Q10 and open raised the blinds all-in (they were both uber tight and short stacked). Only it turns out I wasn’t opening. UTG had opened and I had missed it (due to a few circumstances that I won’t rehash here, obviously bottom line is that’s a brutal mistake regardless of cause). UTG tanked for a good time than called with A10. I was dominated and did not improve, he had me covered, and that was that. I went out in 14th. Silver lining was I crushed cash games while the tournament played on and would have had to have finished around 4th to make the same amount. Still, would have preferred a shot at winning the thing.
I was scheduled to depart Friday around noon, yet here it is Wednesday morning and I’m waiting to board. You know, I just haven’t been feeling that well here, been having a hard time sleeping, have some kind of cold/flu, etc. Last night the wife suggested I should come home early, and I didn’t take it too serious cause I had just kind of accepted the ‘official’ schedule.
Before heading up to my room I stopped and played a video poker machine for a minute. Yeah, that’s a leak, whatever. Anyway, there was this couple probably in their late 20’s, playing slots nearby. She was quite good looking, he kind of looked like Danny McBride (you know, the guy from Pineapple Express/Tropic Thunder). Actually they both looked pretty dated, she was just pulling it off better. I guess the guy had taken some bad losses, and he was full on losing it on her. She just kept staring straight ahead while he went, blaming her for his busto status cause she’s the one who wanted to come to Vegas in the first fucking place. And then she finally told him, in a very calm voice still looking straight ahead, to get lost, and she was tired of him hitting her. And he picks up a chair, I shit you not, and hoists it over his head prepared to smash her with it, before thinking better of it, putting it down, and throwing himself to the ground. I guess I should have jumped in, but I didn't want to get shot. So I went and found security and told them and then went up to my room. And it was just kind of the last straw for me. Vegas seemed full of villains this time. Maybe cause the wife wasn’t there to balance it out, go to a show and stuff like that. Just everybody seemed either a hustler or an asshole or both, and when they weren’t they were working for tips so they probably were.
I just decided spur of the moment to pack my bag and head to the airport, where I got a very reasonably priced ticket home. Feels good to be leaving.
Oh, and just to not leave you hanging, I had a very inglorious exit from the Caesar’s tourney. First hand of Day 2 I was in the BB and folded to a raise. Second hand I was in the SB and raised the (short stack) BB all-in with 36o. He folded. Third hand I was on the button with Q10 and open raised the blinds all-in (they were both uber tight and short stacked). Only it turns out I wasn’t opening. UTG had opened and I had missed it (due to a few circumstances that I won’t rehash here, obviously bottom line is that’s a brutal mistake regardless of cause). UTG tanked for a good time than called with A10. I was dominated and did not improve, he had me covered, and that was that. I went out in 14th. Silver lining was I crushed cash games while the tournament played on and would have had to have finished around 4th to make the same amount. Still, would have preferred a shot at winning the thing.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Vegas Yes, World Series No
First of all, kudos to me for not entitling this blog "Vegas, Baby, Vegas". Even though it'd clearly be weak, I felt a strong urge to do so. Just like, after any amount of time off from touring, I'm always strongly tempted to entitle the returning newsletter or blog "On The Road Again". Obvious and lame, yet it feels so good.
But moving on. I came down here intending to play in WSOP Event #4 and Event #7. Here's a quick recap of how neither ending up happening.
Got in around 10am Sunday morning, and had already heard that #4 was sold out. Went down there anyway, and found a guy willing to sell me his seat. But the dastardly WSOP officials would not allow it, and so I was no go. I've heard some people online saying these events should never be capped, they should find run for whoever wants to play. And while a nice thought, that's obviously ridiculous. If enough people show up, they are going to eventually run out of room/resources/whatever. I mean, they can't host infinity. But what I do really wish they would do is make preregistration easier. Have a phone number you can call, accept credit cards (add the merchant fee to the price the entrant pays), and above all let people guarantee their starting day when events have multiple Day 1's. I preregistered last year for an event like that, and they did not give me the starting day I requested. It was okay cause I was already in town, but for this event I was only in town for the second start day, so I didn't want to risk being assigned the first one and just completely throwing away the entry fee. I understand the WSOP is a huge undertaking and I think overall they do a good job, but I think making registration a little easier for out-of-towners would be a nice goal.
So I registered for Event #7, which starts today (Tuesday), and as I had Monday to kill I entered the Caesar's Palace deep stack event. It's like ~$500 to enter and they got 163 entrants. Details on the tournament follow, but as for how it pertains to the World Series? I did not know this when I entered, but technically it's a two-day event. At 2am they cut it off and you come back and finish today. We got in the money around 1am, and at the cut off there were 14 left. I can't be here to finish this tournament and at the World Series at the same time. It would be pretty baller to just let myself be blinded off over at the Rio and show up when the Caesar's event is down, hoping to have enough chips left to work with. But I just can't bring myself to potentially (probably) just burn World Series entry fee. I considered just giving up on the Caesar's event, because there's no way near the upside financially, and I did come here to play in the WSOP, and I could be out in five minutes at Caesar's. But in the money is in the money, and I could be out in five minutes at the WSOP too. So after they bagged our chips at Caesar's I took a cab over to the Rio and got my entry fee refunded (it was just me and Howard Lederer in the registration room, btw).
So, yeah, I'm not gonna bag some $x00,000 first place prize this time. But I feel pretty good about the way things turned out and my main goal was to get in some live tournament hands just to increase that skill set, which I definitely did. You know, when I hear live tourney grinders complain about the long days, how hard it is and whatnot, I feel like it's ridiculous. Like, try a prison camp on for size, mofo. But we played from noon-2am and I'll admit I felt pretty crushed by the end. I did make a couple brain malfunction errors (like throwing in an oversized chip intending for it to be a raise, thinking the word raise in my head, but not actually saying it out loud, making it a call). I think I have a cold/flu bug anyway, but I was just feel rough and achy for the last few hours. I would try to run outside for a breath of fresh air on the (ten-minute) breaks, but even late it felt as stuffy outside as it did inside.
We started with $18,000 in chips. I got a few hands early, and everybody folded, so I just kept going with that, was table captain, and built around to around $30k pretty quick. Slowly grinded it up, no interesting hands, until around 4pm when two big hands happened.
First one I was at around $50k, only one other guy at the table had a similar stack. He was a guy, maybe around 30, and quite a common type at these tournaments. Obviously obsessed with poker, reads books and probably runs a home game, watched all the shows, you know. So knows some moves, is willing to try some things, but just doesn't have the experience to quite know when it's a good idea (not like I always know, it's a sliding scale). One thing I've noticed about these guys is they can be super nitty in one hand and then make a crazy move in another, and it doesn't really compute. This guy had built his stack by doubling up with 66 on and 652r board. Preflop Raiser had bet, he raised, and PFR shoved. My guy tanked for ever, even though PFR was an elderly gentleman who played 100% predictable and would not open 4-3 in a million years.
So I open with A9 on the btn and villain calls in the bb. Flop is 952r, and villain check calls. Turn is the ace, giving me top two, I bet again and villain min c/r's. Now all of a sudden I'm worried. If I hadn't seen buddy just tank with top set it'd be a pretty easy decision. But I really want to put him on 55 or 22. I probably only think about it for 15 seconds or so, and finally decide the guy's too erratic to fold in this spot. I reraise and he shoves, which feels sickening, but I'm definitely committed. He turns over AJ, river bricks, and I've got $100k. I don't blame villain for how he played the hand up until my turn 3bet. He knows I'm playing aggressively and so I don't hate the float, and when hits the turn ace he's gotta think he's good. But when I reraise him? He could and shove have easily gotten away at that point. Needless to say I'm glad he didn't.
Second big hand, I have AQo in the cutoff. SB and BB both call. Flop comes Q73 all clubs, I have the A of clubs. I bet out, SB raises, BB calls. I made a big mistake in this hand in that I didn't get chip counts. I knew I had the guys covered easily, but they did both have reasonable stacks. SB was an overly aggro spewer (and cocky prick) who thought he really knew the game, and I guess kind of did know it. Just didn't play it well. BB was new to the table. I just shoved. SB showed 33, BB showed KJc and I was in trouble Turn bricked, river was 2c, and I was in trouble no more. With a stack of over $200k I was probably chip leader by a ratio of 2 to 1 over the next big stack.
What's sickening, is when I bagged my chips at 2am, a full 10 hours later, I had $189k. So I basically treaded water for ten hours! I did my best to rock the big stack, but it just didn't work out. I probably never got over 300k, or below 150k. We had the tournament director's longest ever cash bubble (he's been working there for three years). 18 got paid, so we played hand for hand on the final two tables for at least a couple hours. It was, as one player noted, worse than watching paint dry. It was more like watching people watch paint dry. Tried to amuse ourselves by making prop bets on whether the extreme short stack on the other table would fold his blinds, but even those attempts at amusing ourselves were thwarted as we always pushed (when nobody raised the guy).
So it starts up again in a couple hours. I have slightly below average chip stack, it's full on luck mode now. It's not a ton of money anyway, first place is like $25k, and right now it's only around $1400. But it'd be nice to take it down just cause that's why you enter, no?
But moving on. I came down here intending to play in WSOP Event #4 and Event #7. Here's a quick recap of how neither ending up happening.
Got in around 10am Sunday morning, and had already heard that #4 was sold out. Went down there anyway, and found a guy willing to sell me his seat. But the dastardly WSOP officials would not allow it, and so I was no go. I've heard some people online saying these events should never be capped, they should find run for whoever wants to play. And while a nice thought, that's obviously ridiculous. If enough people show up, they are going to eventually run out of room/resources/whatever. I mean, they can't host infinity. But what I do really wish they would do is make preregistration easier. Have a phone number you can call, accept credit cards (add the merchant fee to the price the entrant pays), and above all let people guarantee their starting day when events have multiple Day 1's. I preregistered last year for an event like that, and they did not give me the starting day I requested. It was okay cause I was already in town, but for this event I was only in town for the second start day, so I didn't want to risk being assigned the first one and just completely throwing away the entry fee. I understand the WSOP is a huge undertaking and I think overall they do a good job, but I think making registration a little easier for out-of-towners would be a nice goal.
So I registered for Event #7, which starts today (Tuesday), and as I had Monday to kill I entered the Caesar's Palace deep stack event. It's like ~$500 to enter and they got 163 entrants. Details on the tournament follow, but as for how it pertains to the World Series? I did not know this when I entered, but technically it's a two-day event. At 2am they cut it off and you come back and finish today. We got in the money around 1am, and at the cut off there were 14 left. I can't be here to finish this tournament and at the World Series at the same time. It would be pretty baller to just let myself be blinded off over at the Rio and show up when the Caesar's event is down, hoping to have enough chips left to work with. But I just can't bring myself to potentially (probably) just burn World Series entry fee. I considered just giving up on the Caesar's event, because there's no way near the upside financially, and I did come here to play in the WSOP, and I could be out in five minutes at Caesar's. But in the money is in the money, and I could be out in five minutes at the WSOP too. So after they bagged our chips at Caesar's I took a cab over to the Rio and got my entry fee refunded (it was just me and Howard Lederer in the registration room, btw).
So, yeah, I'm not gonna bag some $x00,000 first place prize this time. But I feel pretty good about the way things turned out and my main goal was to get in some live tournament hands just to increase that skill set, which I definitely did. You know, when I hear live tourney grinders complain about the long days, how hard it is and whatnot, I feel like it's ridiculous. Like, try a prison camp on for size, mofo. But we played from noon-2am and I'll admit I felt pretty crushed by the end. I did make a couple brain malfunction errors (like throwing in an oversized chip intending for it to be a raise, thinking the word raise in my head, but not actually saying it out loud, making it a call). I think I have a cold/flu bug anyway, but I was just feel rough and achy for the last few hours. I would try to run outside for a breath of fresh air on the (ten-minute) breaks, but even late it felt as stuffy outside as it did inside.
We started with $18,000 in chips. I got a few hands early, and everybody folded, so I just kept going with that, was table captain, and built around to around $30k pretty quick. Slowly grinded it up, no interesting hands, until around 4pm when two big hands happened.
First one I was at around $50k, only one other guy at the table had a similar stack. He was a guy, maybe around 30, and quite a common type at these tournaments. Obviously obsessed with poker, reads books and probably runs a home game, watched all the shows, you know. So knows some moves, is willing to try some things, but just doesn't have the experience to quite know when it's a good idea (not like I always know, it's a sliding scale). One thing I've noticed about these guys is they can be super nitty in one hand and then make a crazy move in another, and it doesn't really compute. This guy had built his stack by doubling up with 66 on and 652r board. Preflop Raiser had bet, he raised, and PFR shoved. My guy tanked for ever, even though PFR was an elderly gentleman who played 100% predictable and would not open 4-3 in a million years.
So I open with A9 on the btn and villain calls in the bb. Flop is 952r, and villain check calls. Turn is the ace, giving me top two, I bet again and villain min c/r's. Now all of a sudden I'm worried. If I hadn't seen buddy just tank with top set it'd be a pretty easy decision. But I really want to put him on 55 or 22. I probably only think about it for 15 seconds or so, and finally decide the guy's too erratic to fold in this spot. I reraise and he shoves, which feels sickening, but I'm definitely committed. He turns over AJ, river bricks, and I've got $100k. I don't blame villain for how he played the hand up until my turn 3bet. He knows I'm playing aggressively and so I don't hate the float, and when hits the turn ace he's gotta think he's good. But when I reraise him? He could and shove have easily gotten away at that point. Needless to say I'm glad he didn't.
Second big hand, I have AQo in the cutoff. SB and BB both call. Flop comes Q73 all clubs, I have the A of clubs. I bet out, SB raises, BB calls. I made a big mistake in this hand in that I didn't get chip counts. I knew I had the guys covered easily, but they did both have reasonable stacks. SB was an overly aggro spewer (and cocky prick) who thought he really knew the game, and I guess kind of did know it. Just didn't play it well. BB was new to the table. I just shoved. SB showed 33, BB showed KJc and I was in trouble Turn bricked, river was 2c, and I was in trouble no more. With a stack of over $200k I was probably chip leader by a ratio of 2 to 1 over the next big stack.
What's sickening, is when I bagged my chips at 2am, a full 10 hours later, I had $189k. So I basically treaded water for ten hours! I did my best to rock the big stack, but it just didn't work out. I probably never got over 300k, or below 150k. We had the tournament director's longest ever cash bubble (he's been working there for three years). 18 got paid, so we played hand for hand on the final two tables for at least a couple hours. It was, as one player noted, worse than watching paint dry. It was more like watching people watch paint dry. Tried to amuse ourselves by making prop bets on whether the extreme short stack on the other table would fold his blinds, but even those attempts at amusing ourselves were thwarted as we always pushed (when nobody raised the guy).
So it starts up again in a couple hours. I have slightly below average chip stack, it's full on luck mode now. It's not a ton of money anyway, first place is like $25k, and right now it's only around $1400. But it'd be nice to take it down just cause that's why you enter, no?
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