The Trouble With Business Class

The main reason I hate flying economy is cause I'm 6'5", and not skinny per se, and not really that social with strangers. So economy tends to be uncomfortable on several levels. I've only ever taken one economy flight overseas, that was when Rachel & I went on our Scotland/England vacation a couple years back (also the only vacation I've ever taken where I didn't stay in hotels, we had friends or family in every locale; surprisingly, it was kind of pleasant). That flight was hellish, and I vowed never again. I'd rather, if faced with the choice, take a third the number of total vacations but fly business class. I mean, as far as long flights go. I don't mind economy for the Vancouver-Salt Lake City jaunt, as one example.

But anyway. There are two main problems with business class. Here they are:

1) It brings out your inner Thurston Howell. I mean, the airlines really stress the caste system they're selling. You get a separate line at check-in (they even attach 'priority' tags to your bags, although I noticed they were gone in Rome). You have a lounge for waiting in (can't be just milling about the airport like the common folk). You load first, even though you're at the front of the plane and generally they load back to front. This creates the slightly awkward 'parade of the lay person' where you sip champagne while the bulk of the passengers dejectedly make their way to the back. It's like you're some kind of sadistic rich fuck and condemned people are being brought by for your amusement.

But anyway, while you feel slightly guilty about this, you also find yourself getting kind of irritated when someone in economy tries to board during the business class boarding period, for example. Which is when you realize the airlines have won. You thought you were just going to get some extra comfort, but they've succeeded in breaking your brain.

2) It brings out your inner Junkhead. ie, you eat (and, okay, drink) pretty much anything. They just keep bringing you stuff, and it feels like a missed opportunity to pass on anything. So man, by the time you hit Hamburg, you feel like total and complete crap. Plus, they hook you up with practically limitless options on the little entertainment system there. So you don't sleep, cause for some reason you just have to watch the Antonio Banderas/Meg Ryan movie that you had never even heard of pre-boarding.

So, yeah, that's business class. You get extra leg room, but you are transformed into a fat, drunk, overtired asshole. Oh well. There's pros and cons to everything.